Feb 20
Martyn is 1 month old today! I can hardly believe it. I am so glad though, it's been a wonderful month so far, here's to many many many more to come!
We just took it easy today at home, just me and the boy. He's still pretty congested, but is more annoyed than terribly uncomfortable or miserable. In the morning seems to be the hardest time for him.
He's having a growth spurt right now, so he's eat eat eating all the time...and sleeping for 3 to 4 hours at a time too....at night that's great! In the day it's fine, but I like his awake times during the day. He woke me up this morning around 8 and needed to be changed. I was SO sleepy, and there was no way I was getting up at 8 if I could help it. I changed him, and brought him back to bed, and he seemed perfectly content with that decision. So when we got up two hours later, and I was still really sleepy, I figured when he took his nice long afternoon nap, I'd probably be all over it, and end up taking a nap with him.
I was totally right.
I had to cut my nap short though to get up and start getting dinner together before Eli got home, so it was ready when he walked in the door...especially since tonight was the start of a new season of Amazing Race... also though, and mainly because we only get a couple hours together in the evenings after he works, so if dinner is ready to go when he gets home, it's a little more time we all get to spend together before he has to go to bed.
After we watched the Amazing Race, and Eli went to bed, I was thinking about my day with Martyn today. It was pretty much uneventful and that was great. Really, we have a lot of uneventful days, yet I'm finding I still seem to learn something new, or discover something new about my son, or myself as a mother.
It occurred to me how much Martyn has been wanting the breast today...and how it's getting annoying. Don't get me wrong, I want to feed my son breast milk as much as he wants and needs it...but I know that some of the time he just wants to be comforted and that's his favorite way to be comforted. My boobs aren't exactly sore, but I think they are getting there. Or every time I go to sit in my chair with him, he just assumes the position, or tries to and it's annoying.
I barely am able to get anything done around the house because I'm busy comforting my boy, or feeding him, or changing him...and when he does go to sleep, I'm constantly peeking around the corner if I'm in another room, to make sure I didn't actually hear him making a sound, or moving around, or if the dog is disturbing him....or whatever. It's annoying to not have even just a few minutes in the day to be able to get stuff done, or even just to myself.
Even in all this that I find annoying, it still brings me great Joy to love and care for my son. All the annoying little things, they can add up through out the day and wear on a person. But it's all worth it more and more, every time I look at that sweet boy....every time I see his little 'I'm hungry dance'....even though I know it's actually just the "I want boobie for comfort" dance and I'm annoyed, it's so worth it and still brings a smile to my face....it brings me great Joy. Even when I have to walk around in the dark in the dining room and rock my boy wrapped up in a blanket to get him back to sleep, while half a bowl of cereal waits for me on the coffee table...It is my Joy to do it.
I am so glad for Martyn. He's just the greatest gift I've ever received and I can't even imagine my life with out him....I remember what my life was like before I had a son. Definitely different, and not bad at all. Now that he's here though, I feel like a complete person. A complete family. He is my Joy. My middle name is Joy, and my mom has always affectionately called me "the Joy of her old age"... Sometimes that little title is flattering, and I never fully understood why she said that so much (especially when I was an adolescent, and was horrible to her) but I get it now. I'm not old by any means, but Martyn is my great Joy.
The Joy of my any age.
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