Day 88...Last full day

Apr 17

Today was my last full day with Martyn until next Saturday...boo!

Actually, I'm doing ok. I am excited and nervous to go back to work tomorrow...but I'm not really nervous about Martyn being with the nanny lady all day. I like her a lot and feel very confident in her ability to care for my son, in a loving way.

Going to work tomorrow, I have no idea what to expect. I don't know if we're busy, or slow or what...or if they're going to have my temporary replacement fellow stay there to get me caught up, or if I'm just expected to get caught up myself....The anticipation and not knowing what to expect is what's freaking me out right now. I'm glad that's all. I am going to miss the boy though. I'm going to have to figure out some kind of pumping schedule during the day too. I'm going to bring my breast pump and my nursing cover (the hooter hider) and just plan on pumping every couple hours in my office....they're all just going to have to deal with that, ha!

Today, I literally held Martyn nearly the whole day. We took a big fat nap in the recliner and I just held onto him, as if for dear life. I figured I better get that in while I can. This week he's going to be changing and I'm not going to be there to see it until the evenings....at least I get off work early enough that I have some time with him and Eli in the evenings. I need some prayer this week, it's going to be a big adjustment for all of us.

We decided Eli will bring Martyn to see me for lunch once a week, so I can nurse him at lunch time and also just to see him. It will be good to see them both actually. I'm feeling a little apprehensive about it all, but at the same time feeling like it's all going to be ok. We just have to work out the kinks and figure out the groove, and get into it. Settle in for the long haul basically. I know it's going to be ok, and it will get easier as we go, but I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a very emotional day for me.

Praying for strength.