Mar 27
First of all I have to say, where the heck did this day go? It didn't even feel like a Sunday one bit, it felt like Monday....that's probably because it was Monday for Eli and I'm still on his schedule. I was supposed to get up with him this morning, to start working my way back into the habit of being up that early, so it won't be such a shock to me when I have to do it for work in a few weeks.
When Eli came and kissed my good bye this morning I was totally awake, I should have just gotten up, but I didn't. He left, and a few minutes later, I heard him pull back into the drive way and I knew instantly what the problem was...he had a flat tire on his truck.
So he had to take my car, and I didn't have to go anywhere (really) all day so that was fine.
I had this horrible dream that Martyn had some kind of maggot producing bug living inside his little nose and that is what's making him sick....I had to pick them out with tweezers, which was painful to him because they were all embedded inside his nasal cavity. That is horrible. It makes me almost teary thinking about it now. I know it was totally because I wasn't all the way asleep and I was hearing him breathe all congested. He really does seem to be fine, other than being snotty and boogery (again), so that's a relief...but still, I don't like it one bit.
He's been really drooly lately. I had to put a bib on him today. I think he still has a while till he starts teething, but it's coming. That's exciting! My boy is just getting bigger every day. I'm pretty sure his eyes are going to be brown, they still could go green at this point, but blue is pretty much out...most likely it's gonna be brown....which is ok, I think they're really pretty. He has very long eye lashes, they're just red like on his head so you have to be at just the right angle to notice them. I think he's gonna be a lady killer when he's older, ha!
I took Martyn upstairs and read to him some today...that was fun, I love how he just stares at me when I'm talking to him. It's like he's completely mesmerized by the sound of my voice...having a kid could do wonders for a persons confidence if they were running low...I'm just saying.
I also played the guitar and sang to him for the first time. He was getting his groove on! It was really cute. I had layed him on the floor in front of me and he just stared at my left hand on the guitar and smiled, and kicked his little legs a whole bunch...yeah he's going to be a guitar player. I don't see how he couldn't with those long fingers, my goodness! It felt good to sit down and play a few songs, that's something I haven't done in a quite a while...long enough that I've totally lost my finger callouses...I was feeling it by the time I was finished. Good thing the strings on my guitar are nice and soft and in need of changing, ha!
Yesterday I finally got around to posting an add on my Midwife group message board, about needing a nanny. We'll see what comes of that...nothing so far. I'm just dreading the process of finding a part time nanny for the boy. I still REALLY don't want to leave him, but don't have a choice right now. I've been praying for wisdom and grace, and peace about the whole thing....none of those have come into play yet. I keep thinking, what if my three weeks come to an end, and I still haven't found someone? I mean, right now I've only just started the process of looking for someone, but I'm thinking ahead...perhaps I need to just focus finding someone, and not on not finding someone.
I don't like it.
I decided we need to establish a bed time routine. I had already said for the last few nights I've been laying Martyn down, for a while before either Eli or I come to bed. It's going ok. Last night I totally woke him up when I came to bed, and it took a while to get him comforted and back to sleep. I totally had to get up and walk him around in the living room for like 20 minutes, which was frustrating and annoying. At least it wasn't terribly cold, because I didn't bother with trying to get my robe on, I was just trying to get him quiet so he wouldn't wake Eli.
Tonight, I started earlier for one thing, which I felt better about than last night. It took him almost 40 minutes of laying in bed, nursing and talking to mama to fall asleep enough to where I could get up with out disturbing him. He woke back up, but he wasn't crying. He was just talking to himself, when Eli went to bed about a 15 min ago. I noticed Eli left the light on and I said "you don't have to leave the light on for me, I'll be in there in a few minutes." He said very quietly, "I have a few things to say to the boy before turning the light off." I heard him cuddling Martyn up in there.
I noticed he turned the light off a few minutes ago, and I still hear Martyn making little noises...not unhappy noises...but he's still awake. I'm going to let him be awake in the dark, with daddy in the bed for a while longer before I come to bed...with the hopes that he will go to sleep. I have a feeling if I go to bed now, he'll wake up more and it will be harder for him to get back to sleep.
It's interesting, this night time routine business. I'm kind of just trying out what I think will work. I haven't put a huge amount of planning or anything like that, into it. I imagine when I go back to work, it will be a whole new routine...I guess right now, we're just trying to get into some kind of routine at all. Deep down, I'm still wishing (and hoping) I didn't have to worry about it.
I think it will all work out. It's just the anticipation part I always have a hard time with.
No comments:
Post a Comment