Day 71...meet the wife and kid

Mar 31

We slept in until almost 10am! I could hardly believe it! Martyn is such an awesome baby...I did get up and change his diaper a few hours before that however.

We had a good day. I know it was the first day of Eli's weekend, but I totally felt like being productive. I didn't really do much though, until the afternoon.

After being spit up on several times, and not changing shirts, my shirt smelled enough like spit up (even dry) that it was starting to bother me....and I have super sniffing powers.

I decided I needed to get up and go to the store and get ingredients for spinach shakes, but I didn't want to bring the baby out. Also, Eli needed some practice with Martyn, with out me so I figured this was a perfect opportunity. I was really full of milk on both sides however, so I was kind of waiting for the baby to wake up. Then I remembered that I had Wendy's breast pump, and I had just cleaned everything, including the tubing and I could totally pump and Eli could feed him a bottle if he woke up before I got back, which I figured he would.

It worked out perfectly because he woke up just as I was about to leave, so I could instruct Eli on giving him a bottle, and the milk in the bottle was still pretty much warm, so he didn't have to warm it up.

I went to New Seasons for my spinach shake stuff, and decided that although New Seasons has some cool and tasty stuff, they are WAY too trendy pants for (and expensive) for my taste. I wish we had Henry's here. There were so many people there, I was kind of shocked. I mean, it was Thursday afternoon, why aren't all these people at work? It can't be because they don't have jobs, because people with no jobs don't shop at New Seasons...and if they do, then they are not very bright, because dang...they're expensive!

I didn't rush, and took my time getting home...though I have to admit I did feel a slight pang of apprehension being gone from the boy, even for a short period of time. Everything was fine when I got home. Martyn and Eli were sitting in the recliner together having a fine time watching some stand up comedy. Martyn was happy as could be, which was a relief to me.

I decided I needed to make myself a shake and test out this recipe I got from Jerusha, my sister in law.

I had to substitute one thing, but it was ok. Over all, I decided the shake, which didn't taste like spinach at all, was WAY too sweet...and I have a sweet tooth even. I'm going to have to tweak the recipe a bit...or a lot, ha!

A co-worker of Eli's is supposed to be leaving to go to Kuwait tomorrow or in the next few days, so they had a going away get together for him tonight. Eli invited me and the boy along. The plan was to meet up with everyone at Hellvetia Tavern, and then go bowling afterward. We weren't sure if it would be ok to take Martyn to the Tavern, so we had looked it up online to see if it was a seedy bar, or a restaurant. I guess it was both, but some of the reviews said it was kid friendly, so we decided it was ok to take Martyn there. They totally have the restaurant and the bar separate so it was ok, and there's no smoking inside public places, including bars now in Oregon, so it wasn't smokey. That would have been the main deterrent had smoking still been allowed.

So I got to meet some of Eli's co-workers, and he got to show off the baby a little....that was pretty cool.

Martyn is so awesome! He was just a perfect little gentleman, and even got passed around a little. After he was handed back to me, I just held him and soothed him with the "gentle jiggle" of leg bouncing, and a pacifier, which he only wanted to chew on but it worked to entertain him for 2 hours. Towards the end, he was falling asleep in my lap so I put him back in the car seat and covered him up and he was fine. We were going to go for a drive because it was such a nice night, but decided it would be better to come home and take the dog for a walk.

Eli was so cute on the way home, long after deciding to come home and go for a walk, he blurts out all of a sudden, "we can use the stroller!" I was driving, and just smiled and kind of nodded my head like "yeah, that was the idea dear...." I love my husband, he cracks me up!

We took the dog for a nice long walk around the park....long meaning several laps. She got worn out pretty well. Eli wanted to push the stroller, which was fine with me, that way I could walk slightly ahead and look at Martyn while we were moving. He was awake for the whole walk, just looking around and taking in the whole scene, even as it got dark...but quiet the whole time. He's such a smart fellow already, it gets me excited to see him develop even more. It's a lot of fun!

I finally got an email back from the lady of my choice for child care...I'm going to set up a time to meet with her next week to discus care for Martyn when I go back to work. I'm kind of nervous, but hopeful. I prayed for the right person, whether it be me or someone else, to come along, and that I would be at peace with having that person care for Martyn....so we shall see how it goes. It would only be two days a week basically, and he would be with Eli the rest of the work week, and me on the weekends (and evenings of course).

Here's hoping.

Day 70...time is slipping away

Mar 30

This morning, I discovered the key to gaining motivation first thing in the morning, is to get fully dressed when you get up...instead of just putting pajamas on. (That's right, I sleep with no pajamas on!) Eli said it well, "pj days=lazy days". Very true.

Martyn, still a morning boy. I love getting up with him, when he's so happy. It just makes starting the day so much better. I knew I was going to have a good day, mostly because my boy was just happy happy and that makes mama happy happy.

I got up and had breakfast, and got the boy ready and went and did my out of the house errands. Got the rest of the dishes done, and got all the laundry folded...not put away though. I even managed to take the dog and boy for a walk again. I really like going for a walk with my nifty new stroller. It was dry enough to leave the rain cover off this time and Martyn was bundled up and warm...I checked him several times to make sure he wasn't cold (on his cheeks). He stayed awake for most of the walk, so cute. It's fun to have people who are passing by, smile because I'm "strolling" the boy, with the dog leash attached to the stroller.

I even experimented with dinner, and made a really good stir fry. Very tasty, and it was finished right when Eli got home. It was a good day.

This is what my time consists of it seems, as of late. Which I'm fine with, but I feel like time is slipping away, and I'll be back at work before I know it. I'm kind of looking forward to going back to work, but dreading it at the same time. I guess what I'm really dreading is the time that will be lost with my boy. I'm going to miss so much stuff, that makes me sad. However, I am very glad that Eli will be with him more.

This is the year to get things in order though. If I'm going to go back to work, we're going to smack down some debt and get things situated for the future. I feel good about that.

Day 69...no bites yet.

Mar 29

I got nothing. No bites on my post in my Midwives yahoo group. I responded to an add on Craigslist that sounded perfect, but no response from the lady yet...Eli was not convinced I should ask my work if I can have Mondays and Tuesdays off to care for the boy.

I know I still have time, but I'm feeling frustrated about finding a person. I want to have it taken care of as soon as I can, so I have time to do a few test runs with the person before I have to go back to work.

I guess I just have to keep being patient and keep looking. It's almost like looking for a job, which is the thing I loathe and despise doing the most.

It rained all day today, and was kind of chilly out so I stayed in the house the entire day. Poor dog, had to wait for dad to come home to get a walk in....there was no way I was going to be willing to take the boy out in the weather, especially when he finally fell asleep and stayed asleep when I layed him down. He kind of missed out on his big daytime nap the last few days and was cranky, so I was very glad for it today.

Dinner was pretty much the only thing I got done today...oh and the dishes. Well that's something I guess. I was supposed to run a couple errands, but just couldn't motivate myself to leave the house in the rain.

Martyn was all smiles this morning...as usual. I'm dealing with a morning person here, how ever did that happen? Actually over the years, I've found myself to be somewhat more of a morning person. Never like my mom...for me it's more once I'm up, I'm up. It doesn't (usually) take me a long time to wake up once I get out of bed. Especially now that I have the baby to take care of. Some days though, it would be so easy to get up with him, and then go back to bed with him about an hour after we get up...hey he does, I should be able to too, right? No. That's ok though.

It was nice when Eli came home tonight, to just talk with him. We watched a little bit of "tv" on Hulu, but we talked about my idea to stay home part time. He didn't think it was a good idea, and after talking about it with him, I came to the conclusion that I should at least go back to work and feel it out, before presenting them with my idea. See if it really is as slow as I'm anticipating it to be. That is a smarter idea I suppose.

We shall see.

Day 68...stroller!

Mar 28

I got a stroller! Yay!

I found it on Craigslist for $100, and it's just right. I didn't care about name brand so much as a certain kind of stroller I wanted. It's a jogging stroller, with a swivel front wheel, that can be locked if you want. It's sturdy, and rides really smooth, and even came with a rain cover.

I took if for a test ride tonight with Martyn, and Sheba...also, the dog was much less freaked out by the stroller than I anticipated she would be, and was wonderful walking along with it. I even took her to the park and let her off the leash (after a nice long walk) and she came back to me (and the stroller) when I called her. So that's a good omen, ha!

Martyn liked it too-he fell asleep right away. I had him all bundled up with two little blankets, and a jacket and hat, and strapped into the stroller, and I had the rain cover on, which has little breather holes I noticed, but also helps protect him from the wind or breeze. He's still really congested so I was concerned about him getting chilled, but it was ok.

I even met another mom going for a walk, with a little baby wrapped onto her facing out, with a moby. I thought, and said, "you have a really little one too huh?" Her baby looked about as big as Martyn. She said he was 3 months, so he was only a few weeks older than Martyn. My boy wasn't happy that I stopped to talk to her for a minute, and started fussing so I had to keep going. It must feel similar to the car, which he likes.

I have kind of been making excuses about getting out and going for a walk, mainly because Martyn is big enough now that it's hard to carry him for a long walk.....and it's even harder with the dog. But I don't have an excuse now....I really enjoyed walking with the stroller too. I found myself being all smiles as I walked along, with my boy and my dog. The dog sure was happy to go for a walk too.

When we got back from the walk, my brother in law Bryan called me wanting my father in law's number. He needed a home inspection because they are going to buy a house! I was very excited for them. I talked to my sister for a bit, but we both had to get off the phone and start dinner so it was cut short. Hmm, I think I need to make a trip down to see them in the near future...they're only an hour away, sheesh!

All day, Martyn has been super clingy. I would be holding him, or nursing him and he would fall asleep, so I would go to lay him down in the bassinet and he would only stay asleep for about 10 or 15 minutes. Then wake up and cry until I came and picked him up again. So he didn't really get a good solid nap in the middle of the day like he normally does. Except for the car ride to Sherwood to get the stroller. It actually isn't as long of a drive as I thought it was, so on the way home I took a little extra scenic route, so he could have more of a nap. So in the evening when Eli got home, Martyn just wanted to be held by Mama. He was all fussy and tired. I finally got him calmed down enough to pass him to daddy, and he was fine with that.

I gotta figure out how to keep him sleeping, with out it being in my lap. I know he needs the sleep in the day anyway, but he's kind of sick right now, and especially needs it.

When it was bed time, he was all boogery and congested, so I decided to take a shower and steam the bathroom all up so he could be humidified some, and also, I've noticed that he's usually calm and relaxed after a shower or bath, so that would be a good time to go for bed time.

Bed time is still hard, especially since Eli is sleeping downstairs with us. I think it's because I'm all uptight about the baby keeping him up on work nights, and Martyn is picking up on that up tightness and gets all worked up. I just need to relax. Eli said he's been sleeping ok the last few nights. Getting into a schedule is hard for mama too apparently.

I'm still feeling totally apprehensive about going back to work. I feel like the time is just slipping away and I don't have anyone yet, even in mind, to take care of Martyn on the days that we need. Wouldn't it be awesome if my work would let me have those days off to take care of the boy and come back to work part time? Hmm, I wonder if we could work something like that out? I seriously doubt it...though, when I went in to visit in February, they were super slow...and summer time is coming, which is the slowest time of the year. I wonder if I could talk them into cutting down my time, but not my pay rate....now there's an idea!

The only problem with that is that I then wouldn't be a full time employee and would loose my benefits....would that really be so bad? I don't like my insurance company, and thus far have elected to not use it at all...even for my pregnancy. It's too expensive to add Eli to it, and it would be for Martyn too, but I wouldn't put him on it anyway, because I don't like them and he's on State insurance right now anyway.

I just realized that more than writing about life with my son, this blog has kind of turned into a journal of sorts...which is humorous to me. I probably should talk to my husband before I write anymore about this whole crazy idea, ha!

Day 67...thoughts about a new 'routine'

Mar 27

First of all I have to say, where the heck did this day go? It didn't even feel like a Sunday one bit, it felt like Monday....that's probably because it was Monday for Eli and I'm still on his schedule. I was supposed to get up with him this morning, to start working my way back into the habit of being up that early, so it won't be such a shock to me when I have to do it for work in a few weeks.

When Eli came and kissed my good bye this morning I was totally awake, I should have just gotten up, but I didn't. He left, and a few minutes later, I heard him pull back into the drive way and I knew instantly what the problem was...he had a flat tire on his truck.

So he had to take my car, and I didn't have to go anywhere (really) all day so that was fine.

I had this horrible dream that Martyn had some kind of maggot producing bug living inside his little nose and that is what's making him sick....I had to pick them out with tweezers, which was painful to him because they were all embedded inside his nasal cavity. That is horrible. It makes me almost teary thinking about it now. I know it was totally because I wasn't all the way asleep and I was hearing him breathe all congested. He really does seem to be fine, other than being snotty and boogery (again), so that's a relief...but still, I don't like it one bit.

He's been really drooly lately. I had to put a bib on him today. I think he still has a while till he starts teething, but it's coming. That's exciting! My boy is just getting bigger every day. I'm pretty sure his eyes are going to be brown, they still could go green at this point, but blue is pretty much out...most likely it's gonna be brown....which is ok, I think they're really pretty. He has very long eye lashes, they're just red like on his head so you have to be at just the right angle to notice them. I think he's gonna be a lady killer when he's older, ha!

I took Martyn upstairs and read to him some today...that was fun, I love how he just stares at me when I'm talking to him. It's like he's completely mesmerized by the sound of my voice...having a kid could do wonders for a persons confidence if they were running low...I'm just saying.

I also played the guitar and sang to him for the first time. He was getting his groove on! It was really cute. I had layed him on the floor in front of me and he just stared at my left hand on the guitar and smiled, and kicked his little legs a whole bunch...yeah he's going to be a guitar player. I don't see how he couldn't with those long fingers, my goodness! It felt good to sit down and play a few songs, that's something I haven't done in a quite a while...long enough that I've totally lost my finger callouses...I was feeling it by the time I was finished. Good thing the strings on my guitar are nice and soft and in need of changing, ha!

Yesterday I finally got around to posting an add on my Midwife group message board, about needing a nanny. We'll see what comes of that...nothing so far. I'm just dreading the process of finding a part time nanny for the boy. I still REALLY don't want to leave him, but don't have a choice right now. I've been praying for wisdom and grace, and peace about the whole thing....none of those have come into play yet. I keep thinking, what if my three weeks come to an end, and I still haven't found someone? I mean, right now I've only just started the process of looking for someone, but I'm thinking ahead...perhaps I need to just focus finding someone, and not on not finding someone.

I don't like it.

I decided we need to establish a bed time routine. I had already said for the last few nights I've been laying Martyn down, for a while before either Eli or I come to bed. It's going ok. Last night I totally woke him up when I came to bed, and it took a while to get him comforted and back to sleep. I totally had to get up and walk him around in the living room for like 20 minutes, which was frustrating and annoying. At least it wasn't terribly cold, because I didn't bother with trying to get my robe on, I was just trying to get him quiet so he wouldn't wake Eli.

Tonight, I started earlier for one thing, which I felt better about than last night. It took him almost 40 minutes of laying in bed, nursing and talking to mama to fall asleep enough to where I could get up with out disturbing him. He woke back up, but he wasn't crying. He was just talking to himself, when Eli went to bed about a 15 min ago. I noticed Eli left the light on and I said "you don't have to leave the light on for me, I'll be in there in a few minutes." He said very quietly, "I have a few things to say to the boy before turning the light off." I heard him cuddling Martyn up in there.

I noticed he turned the light off a few minutes ago, and I still hear Martyn making little noises...not unhappy noises...but he's still awake. I'm going to let him be awake in the dark, with daddy in the bed for a while longer before I come to bed...with the hopes that he will go to sleep. I have a feeling if I go to bed now, he'll wake up more and it will be harder for him to get back to sleep.

It's interesting, this night time routine business. I'm kind of just trying out what I think will work. I haven't put a huge amount of planning or anything like that, into it. I imagine when I go back to work, it will be a whole new routine...I guess right now, we're just trying to get into some kind of routine at all. Deep down, I'm still wishing (and hoping) I didn't have to worry about it.

I think it will all work out. It's just the anticipation part I always have a hard time with.

Day 66....I knew it! (but I'm still relieved)

Mar 26

Got up this morning and changed Martyn, right after I fed him...around 7:30. He's so funny, when he's getting his diaper changed now, he's just happy as can be once you get the dirty diaper off. What a cutie! I brought him back to bed and put him between Eli and I, on his back. He was all smiles and wide eyes. He kept looking back and forth between us.

What a special moment. My family. All together. I am a blessed woman.

After laying in bed with my two fellows for a while, Eli got up and took the baby in the living room and let me go back to sleep for a little while until Martyn got hungry again. He brought Martyn back to bed with me, and I stayed in bed with my boy for another hour and half. What a great way to start the morning!

I brought Martyn out and nursed him, and put him back to sleep in the bassinet for a couple hours. I think he's sleeping off the sick....I'm doing the best for him I can, breast milk and lots of sleep is the way to fight sick. He's pretty well protected by the breast milk. He seems to be feeling ok today, just stuffy. Actually he's been really happy today in his awake time.

Grammie-Mary Jane and Grampa Walt came over today for a bit to visit us and the boy, and to go to Costco. They too were surprised how much Martyn has grown in just a few weeks. He really is a big boy now.

When we all got home, Eli made tacos and we watched a movie. Martyn sat with Eli nearly the whole movie and just looked at him, and chatted him all up. It was so cute! He loves his daddy, and that's so fun to see.

The last three nights since I've been home, I've been trying to put him to bed in our bed, for a little while before we come to bed. So far it's been successful. I lay down with him and nurse him to sleep basically....or do that and then give him the pacifier until he's all the way asleep. That way I have a few minutes before bed, to myself. We'll see how that works tonight though. Eli will be sleeping downstairs with us for the first time on a work night, in a while. I hope Martyn sleeps well, so daddy can sleep well, because he has to get up early in the morning and work a long long day.

I'm looking to find myself a stroller tomorrow or in the next few days...hopefully that goes well. It's been nice-ish the last couple days....rain and sun off and on....I'm glad it's spring and the weather is hinting at being nicer. I'm looking forward to it being nice enough to bring the boy out in the yard, while I do some gardening....starting with rebuilding the planter boxes in back. We have a couple spots of prime real estate for planting...should be interesting. After being at moms house and having fresh food from the garden in every meal practically, I'm seriously looking forward to getting our garden going this year.

I think it will be fun to teach Martyn about the garden when he's a little bigger. That's something I hope to help him learn early on, and stick with it, that food from the garden is wonderful and tasty and good for you, and you just feel better when you eat it.

So tonight also when we got home from the store one of my tasks was to pee on a stick, to make sure I was not pregnant....yeah, we're good. Eli wanted me to show him, just to make sure, ha! I noted that this time, as compared to last time I took a pregnancy test, it took much longer to give me any results. When I found out I was pregnant with Martyn, it was like 30 seconds or less before it said "pregnant"...This time was about two minutes before it said "not pregnant"... I knew it! Though I was still glad to see that.

Day 65...lazy day

Mar 25

We really did not do anything today....and I still feel like I accomplished something. Seriously though, we pretty much lazed around the entire day, took turns playing with Martyn and taking naps.

I did manage to get all the way unpacked though. Even put my bag and mom's suit case upstairs and out of the way. Got all the clothes in the wash, got a load of diapers through the wash, and started a load of baby clothes....I need to go switch that before I go to bed.

Martyn was not feeling well today....though, I wasn't feeling well either so perhaps I was just projecting how I was feeling onto him. I think he was at the very least a little off though. He's pretty snotty and congested, so instead of saline drops, I spray some breast milk into his nose when I'm nursing him and really full so I can actually spray, ha! He does not like that one bit, but it does seem to help the mucus come on down. I have to admit it's kind of funny when I do that, Martyn flails his free arm all about like "knock it off!"

I feel a little guilty for thinking that's kind of cute and funny....it really is for his benefit, it's just an unpleasant process...poor guy.

I've missed taking naps with my baby in the recliner. Got to do that today, and it was great...though I needed a longer nap than the boy. Thankfully Eli took him for me after I nursed him when he woke up, and I layed down on the couch for a while.

Someone bought the property next door to us, and the guy came over to get our land lord's info today. Nice guy. I was wondering if anyone was going to buy that property ever....it sounds like he really low balled the owner and got it for much less than the other wanted to sell for, but he was finally at the point where he just wanted to get rid of it. It will be interesting to see what the new owners do with it. He said they're going to put their graphic design office in there, and open up some kind of seasonal shop for the summer months while there are tons of people in the park behind us for soccer and base ball games. We shall see. He said we could still park in the parking lot if we had company over or what ever.

We started putting a bowl or pot of water out on the wood stove to help humidify the living room a bit when we're burning a fire...it really does seem to be helping so far, which is nice. Hard to tell though because my throat is sore from being slightly ill. Eli made a fire this afternoon that was super warm...in fact, it's been burning warm all day, and just started cooling off...that's like 6 hours! Awesome! I want my gas bill to come way back down.

This is kind of my last free week it feels like. I have to get cracking on finding someone to watch Martyn when I go back to work. Granted, we only need someone Mondays and Tuesdays and every other Wednesday, but still, I only have 3 weeks left until I go back to work. Uhg.

I'm dreading it...but it's gotta be done. One of these days, I'll be able to stay home with my baby, but for now it's not a viable option. Still heart breaking though. I have a feeling that first day back to work is going to be one of the hardest days ever.

Eli gave Martyn a bottle for the first time tonight. It was a little awkward, but worked just fine. I'm going to have to leave a check list for him, for the days he's home with the boy during the week. Also, I think I'm going to have to give Eli some tester days before I go back to work...to help him get into the swing of things. I'll have to give him the check list, then go off and do something for the whole day and keep my phone handy. Uhg. Even that sounds heart breaking to me...not that I think Eli can't handle taking care of Martyn...just the thought of leaving him is hard no matter what way I look at it.

In my unpacking today, I set aside all of the clothes that say new born on them. Martyn won't fit them anymore, with the cloth diapers. He's getting so big! When I sit in the recliner and nurse him, his body reaches all the way across the recliner. I was looking at his car seat just now and thinking I need to adjust the straps so he sits up higher because his feet are about to start hanging off the front edge already. What has happened to my little baby? He just got so big all of a sudden!

He's amazing too. He can totally stand on his feet and support his full weight. Obviously he can't balance himself...but he can hold his head up really well. When he has tummy time, he can totally do mini push ups, it's so cute! He can track in all directions with his eyes, which is kind of advanced for two months, I'm super impressed. He can blow bubbles, though not with sound. He turns towards some sounds, he totally recognizes my face. He's smiling a lot and laughing even, though not giggling yet. His arm movements are still kind of jerky, but they're getting better. He's so chatty, I love it! When he's happy, he has a lot to say...usually to whoever is changing his diaper. I have a feeling he's going to be one of those really chatty-kathy kids...that's fine with me.

He just amazes me...how can they learn so much stuff so fast? How can they grow so fast, and get so strong so fast? Life is just amazing. I'm glad I get to be a part of his life, and watch him grow. He's just an awesome kid.

Day 64...home sweet home

Mar 24

Oh it feels good to be home!

Didn't do a whole lot today except just hang out with Eli and Martyn...well we did go to the store actually. Eli didn't take super great care of himself or the house while I was away, so we needed stuff.

It was so nice, when Martyn took his morning nap, to spend time alone with Eli. I really missed him. I decided we need to go on a date night in the near. Martyn slept in the Loehrke bassinet for the first time this morning too. That was kind of epic in my mind. I'm not quite ready to sleep him in it at night, I still want him in the bed with us...but I think for day time naps, it's great. I was thinking it looked really comfy, and wishing I had a Mama sized bassinet to snuggle into, after I had put blankets in there for him to lay on. He slept pretty soundly in it for a couple hours too.

Martyn is kind of stuffed up though, he had a rough night last night, poor baby. I think he got a little sick from Tucker....or it could have been the planes, but I don't know. He seems fine other than a kind of stuffy nose. Last night I also put him to bed a bit before Eli and I went to bed and that took some jiggering, but it worked. He's still getting used to our bed again...and cloth diapers that make his butt all huge.

It was good to take a day to just be home, do a little shopping, but mostly just be with Eli and Martyn. Eli missed us sooo much! It was fun to watch him get re-acquainted with the boy, and vice-versa. I think Martyn missed him too.

Day 63...traveling with the best baby ever!

Mar 23

It's bitter sweet today. Leaving mom's house...a bit of mixed emotions. I'm just so glad I got to come down here. This was such a good trip, but I'm SO ready to be coming home.

Mom had me pick out some fabric last night, and this morning she got up early and busted out a nursing cover for me....she called it a "hooter hider"... ha! That's funny. But it's really cool. It's great because I can see what Martyn is doing when he's nursing, and I can easily get him on the boob, with out showing them to anyone else.

My mom is so cool! She just made that hooter hider real quick, and it was just right. She totally took care of me and Martyn for the last two weeks, and fed us really well. I realized while I've been here, I need to get back to eating well. I feel so good since I've been eating so well. Fresh veggies from the garden every day, good , healthy meals and serving sizes, tasty snacks, that are not super sugary...mom even treated me to some raw milk (yum!) from her favorite grocery store Henrys (which is like a cross between New Seasons and Trader Joes).

I helped Jack move his planter boxes this morning after I finished packing. It was just beautiful outside, sunny and warm. No wonder Jack loves the garden so much, it's great being out there first thing in the morning. I'm glad he's able to get out there and work the garden. He enjoys it so much, and gets offended if any animals mess with his baby. This morning at breakfast, Jack came in and was just livid, because the birds had eaten his strawberry. He said "that bird ate my choice strawberry! It was a big beautiful strawberry and I was really looking forward to picking it today, and that bird just ate it!"

Mom and I were kind of chuckling about that and Jack says to mom, "It's not funny Norma, I'm really upset about it." That made it a lot harder not to laugh, because he said so seriously, and meant it so seriously. Not that we were laughing because of his plight, but it was just kind of funny to be so mad over a strawberry...Mom always says, it's better to laugh about things like that, then cry.

Mom took us to the air port and I felt strange leaving. I was just starting to feel at home...kind of. It's all familiar but it's not home anymore and hasn't been for a long time. Mom dropped me off at the curb, I got a luggage trolley and loaded it all up, with the baby in the car seat and all. I had already checked in on line, but I still had to wait in line to check my bags, and get Martyn's boarding pass. The line was all the way out to the door, but moving pretty quickly. Southwest Airlines has it down man! They were pretty fast and very efficient, and friendly.

I got us all checked in and through security, and then to the gate. My plane was delayed about an hour and half so we had some time to hang out in the gate. Luckily, the San Diego Airport has free wifi, and I had my computer with me so I could entertain myself for a bit. Martyn needed entertainment however, so I put my computer away and played with him, and nursed him while we waited.

We got on the plane, about a third of the way back, so not too far. I was kind of hungry because I hadn't eaten lunch before I left. I sat next too an older Mexican couple, who I'm pretty sure didn't speak English. My plane was to stop over in San Jose, before heading on to Portland. We took off and when we reached 10,000 feet I ordered a Ginger Ale, because my stomach was feeling sick. I had gobbled my honey roasted peanuts down. It's a short flight, only an hour and 20 minutes. Martyn filled his diaper just before they brought my drink out, so I was digging around in my bag to get a diaper and get out a diaper and wipes. I got them out just as my drink arrived, and someone exited the nearest bathroom at the front of the plane. I asked the couple if they would hold my drink, and the woman took it kind of tentatively... I was really thirsty and looking forward to that Ginger Ale. I took Martyn to the bathroom and changed him, and felt the plane slow down. It was already near time to land!

When I got back to my seat, the lady had drank my drink...oh well, I thought, I'll just get something to eat in San Jose.

Now because my flight had so been delayed, there was hardly any lay over in San Jose (I don't know what I was thinking) and I didn't have time to get off the plane...only enough time really to move to the second row of the plane so I could get off first.

As people started boarding, no one was picking the two open seats next to me...I was in the isle row on the left side of the plane. nearly the whole flight boarded (it felt like, it was actually more like half) before an Indian lady with a baby who looked as young as Martyn finally made eyes at the open window seat, and then made eye contact with me. I was kind of glad for another travelling mom, and when she asked if the seat was open, I gladly got up for her to move in. The rest of the flight boarded, and no one filled the open middle seat....which turns out was really good because neither of us knew that you can only have four people in a row of seats, so if the flight had been full and someone had filled that middle seat, one of us moms would have had to move.

The Indian lady's baby was a three month old baby girl, and that was her first flight. She was doing a tester flight to Portland to visit her husband who was a medical student (at OHSU I'm assuming) and flew up to Portland from the San Jose when ever he was on call....the tester flight was because they were planning a trip to India soon and she wanted to see how her baby would do. She was super cute! (The baby I mean) I've always had an affinity for Indian babies...I think they are just beautiful people, and they produce the cutest kids.

I told the lady this was Martyn's second time flying and he did great on the first flight. She said everyone she had talked to said to give the baby a pacifier at take off and landing so the pressure wouldn't bother her ears. I told her to just breast feed her baby, I would be. She looked at me for a second, as if I had just slapped her across the face and I added, "I have a cover"...She kind of stammered a second then said "she doesn't really do that a lot....uh...." I think I offended her, ha! It didn't occur to me that she may not have even been breast feeding her baby at all....and then I said "or give her a bottle?" She looked a little surprised, but then decided that was a good idea and started right in on fixing a bottle for her baby.

By the time the plane took off, I was feeling like I was going to pass out. It was about 5:30 pm and I hadn't eaten anything besides an oat grain bar in San Diego, since breakfast....I was very weak, and feeling sick. Martyn nursed for about ten minutes and fell asleep...he slept the whole flight. I was very glad to get my (second) Ginger Ale. It's not a long flight, about an hour and 45 minutes.

Finally about the last ten or fifteen minutes I was feeling ok enough to talk to the Indian lady some more. I told her her baby did really well for her first flight. When we landed I was so ready to get off that plane! It had been a fine flight too, I just was done with traveling. I gathered up my bag and the bobby, and the baby...I still had the hooter hider around my neck, and bolted off the plane as fast as I could. Martyn was still totally sleeping, and I had a good hold of him, just not all my other stuff. I was at the far end of the airport, and used two of the moving sidewalks until I came to a restaurant that had a really tall table and chairs parked kind of out in the open. I stopped there to re-jigger my stuff and the baby, and to call Eli. For whatever reason, I was expecting him to not be there yet, or be planning to meet me at the baggage claim. I had let him know my flight was delayed from San Diego, and he had said he would go on the flight tracker and find out exactly when to expect me.

It was so good to hear his voice, and know that I would be seeing him in no more than a half hour at most. I asked him if he was at the airport and he said he was. I got my stuff all reset and was about to get the baby and I told him I would meet him at the baggage claim...he said "oh, well I'm at the security check waiting for you..." I said ok I'll be right there, and hung up the phone and grabbed Martyn. If I could have ran with out waking the baby, and possibly peeing my pants, I would have.

It felt amazing to come around the corner at the security check point, and see Eli waiting in the crowd of people...exactly where I last saw him when I left. I nearly cried! I went straight to him, kissed him and handed Martyn off right away because I had to pee and there was a bathroom right there. He was so happy to see us both, I could just see that all over him.

After I went to the bathroom, I came back and took Martyn for a diaper change, and then we headed down to baggage. My bags were coming around right as we got there...I had had to borrow an extra suit case from my mom because my cousin Wendy gave me a breast pump and a bunch of baby clothes, and my mom made a quilt for him, all of which would not fit into my bag.

Eli held fast to that baby....I wasn't about to ask for him back again. I collected the two bags and the car seat, handed the duffel bag to Eli, and took the diaper bag and wheeled bag and car seat and set out for the car. He had parked near the elevator, what a sweetie! We left the airport and went straight to Shari's across the freeway because I was starving. It was raining.

I was home.

While I was on the plane, and miserable, I realized the days of me whining about feeling sick, are over. If I have the baby to take care of and I feel sick, too bad...he is more important. Plain and simple. Oddly, that thought was kind of comforting to me.

I also was blessed to have been traveling with the best baby ever. He was just wonderful the whole trip, he couldn't have been better.

What an awesome baby I have!

Day 62...coming to an end

Mar 22

Well, Stacey and Damon and Tucker left this afternoon. What a great visit! I'm so glad they were able to come down and visit while I was here, and that mom got to see her great grand son, and her oldest grand daughter, and grandson in law for a nice visit. I certainly enjoyed all three of them too. Two year olds are tiring though!

We took them out to Ben and Wendy's house (another cousin of mine) to visit, and Wendy had some baby boy clothes to give me. Turns out they were for older kids, so I gave around half of them to Stacey because Tucker could fit into a lot of them right now. That was really cool! I got some good booty as well, and I'm looking forward to when he's big enough to wear them.

Wendy got her baby fix again, since Martyn was awake most of the time we were over this time, and I got my puppy fix...she has this little maltipoo puppy that's like 12 or 13 weeks old and super cute! She reminds me of my poodle Peaches when she was a puppy. Fun to play with, even funner because I don't have to take care of her, ha!

Mom and I were talking tonight about how Stacey and Damon are doing a good job with Tucker, even though it's really hard raising kids...anytime, but especially when you're pretty young yourself. They are doing ok, that's encouraging to me, for Tucker's sake. I was really concerned when they decided to move back to Vegas, but they seem to be doing ok, and I'm glad for that....I told them they should move back to Oregon though, ha!

I think it was really good for Martyn to get to see them too though. I know he won't even remember but I still feel like it was good. A good way to finish off the trip. I'm glad that when I get home I don't have to go right back to work right away because I'm tired. This is the first time that I feel like I need a vacation from my vacation, and I'm actually going to get it...kind of.

The next task when I get home, is going to be finding a part time nanny for Martyn, before I have to go back to work in a month. Boo! I don't want to go back to work, but for now I'm ok with it. Gotta do what I gotta do. I think it will all work out fine, but I just have to be patient.

For now though, I'm going to love on this wonderful boy as much as possible!

Day 61...cousin time...again.

Mar 21

First day of spring officially! This is my favorite time of year, in Portland especially but here in San Diego too. The flowers all blooming everywhere!

We had such a good day with Stacey, Damon and Tucker. It's been a while since I've been around a two year old and I forgot how draining they can be, ha! I think it was especially good for mom to get to spend time with him though, she hasn't seen him since my wedding and he was only 5 months old then!

Stacey got a lot of baby time with Martyn, which was cool, and I got a lot of time with Stacey which was cool. Man I miss that girl, I wish they still lived in Oregon. She did say however, they will be up in September for her uncle's wedding and I'll get to see her brand new baby boy then. I'm excited for that. Martyn will be a 9 months and fun in a different way...not more or less fun because he's pretty fun right now.

I was proud of Damon, he fixed mom's computer so she can use her camera and skype with us all now, and he got my computer on the Internet, which I could not figure out how to do. Lame that I only had a couple more days for it, but still cool none the less. He helped mom and Jack fix their kitchen fan, and helped Jack with the gofer traps in the yard. He watched Tucker while Stacey and Grannie and I were visiting (grannie is mom, I call her that sometimes when Stacey or Zeke are around...old habit from when they were kids) and when mom and Jack went to bed he came in the living room with Stacey and I and had a good conversation with out being silly. I see him growing up more....which is cool, and hopeful.

I love seeing that he loves his family, and seems to want the best for them....although he's still a young fellow and doesn't know what that may be sometimes.

Still, he's trying and I appreciate that.

I'm glad I was a bit older when I had Martyn. I still have a lot to learn about being a mama, but I wasn't entirely green, and being older in general helped me I think. I guess we'll see how much I've learned in due time, when I have my second child. The plan is to wait until Martyn is at least one and half before trying to get pregnant with the second...that way he's be over two when baby is born. I love that he's my baby right now....and will be for a long time, probably forever for that matter, no matter if we have more kids or not...and they will be my baby too.

It feels good to think about the future like that.

Day 60....Two months!

Mar 20

Wow, Martyn is two months already! The time has gone by so quickly, I can hardly believe it. What a wonderful two months it's been though. I love that little boy more every day. He's so cute I just want to squeeze him every time I see him.

At church today Martyn was such a good boy, as usual. We were sitting in the second row and I had picked him up and he was facing back towards the rest of the congregation...I could hear several people say "awww"...super cute. Those chairs hurt my butt and back though, and they were cold.

After church I had been thinking I was going to meet up with Caleb and meet his fiancee, but he told me they were going snowboarding for the day....and actually I was glad for the rest....I needed a good nap. I did end up taking a long nap with Martyn, which was nice. Though I was kind of groggy...I hate that feeling.

Stacey and Damon and Tucker made it here really late. It was a big rain and wind storm the whole drive from Vegas so it delayed them a couple hours. They got here a little after 1am. I waited up for them, and Martyn did too. He wouldn't go to sleep with out me in the bed, so I just let him stay up.

I'm so glad they made it safely, and are here for a couple days...Tucker is such a big boy now! The last time I saw him was in October...I think he's probably grown 4 inches since then. He totally looks like a little boy, super cute, and talking....kind of. They put him to bed, and he screamed and screamed...and finally fell asleep, poor boy. It's always hard to get used to a new place. Mom had been kind of freaking out about not having the house two year old proofed, but I think it's ok.

I'm looking forward to a good visit with them.

Day 59...My back hurts.

Mar 19

Today is my nephew David's 8th birthday! Wow, that seems strange....I had a lot of stuff going on when he was born, and I can't believe that was 8 years ago already...So glad for where I am in life now.

We did a lot of visiting today. Correction, I did a lot of visiting today, Martyn slept. He was awake most of the morning, and I was trying to get him to go down for a nap before I left the house for the day, but he just wasn't having it. Well, I went for a walk with Mom and Jack this morning after breakfast and Martyn fell asleep then, like he always does in the sling. But when we got back, he woke up and would not go back to sleep, despite all our best efforts to persuade him he should.
I went out to help Jack plant a dwarf Orange tree, which meant finish digging the hole I started for him the day before yesterday, then fill it partly with good soil, put the gofer cage in, and cut open the pot that the tree was in, so he and I could lift it together into the gofer cage. I was a little frustrated with how slow moving he is, but then I thought of a conversation mom and I had the day before and she had said "Good heavens, the man is pushing 80 years old!"
He's really set in his ways of doing things...and that's ok. I imagine I well may be the same way when I'm pushing 80. He was really happy for the help, and company I think.
We went out to the Browns house in Jamul, which is one of my favorite places in the world...it ranks right up there with Eli's parents house, which I think I can safely say is my favorite place in the world....but the Browns house is up there in my mind.
It was good to see them, and Jeans parents are living up there now too...Grannie and Papa Grey. Grannie, who is actually my great aunt Almeda, is the one who is a blood relative of mine. But she and her husband Robert have always felt like another set of grand parents to me, and were both really happy to finally get to see Martyn. Papa was out in the barn working on some project and I went out to get him so he could see the baby, even though he was sleeping soundly. Robert loves little babies, so I knew he would really want a chance to hold him. It was very sweet.

After that, mom and I went to Becky's wedding shower. We only stayed a little while because I had to be somewhere at 5, but it was cool...kind of an impromptu meeting with Jacks daughters and their kids, and they all got to see Martyn. (Becky is Jack's youngest daughter.)
Then Mom dropped us off to have dinner with my beautiful best friend Nicole and her fiancee' Marvin, and all my "San Diego Crew"...the whole gang. It was great to finally get to meet Marvin, albeit a very brief meeting. What a great guy though! I'm so happy my girl is getting married, and even happier that her man is a wonderful, Godly man. I'm so proud of her, and super excited for their wedding.
Martyn pretty much slept that whole time too. Marvin and Nicole gave me and the baby a ride back home to mom's house and came in to say hello to mom, and left.

My back hurts from digging, and holding the baby. I'm super tired, and worn out from all the visiting. I'm ready to go home, even though I'm so enjoying my time here. I'm ready to sleep in my own bed again, with my husband, in my house...Not quite ready to leave the nice weather, but it sounds like it's been nice in Portland too....and I love me some Portland spring time weather. Mainly, I miss my husband, bed, and dog.
So far though, this has been the new best trip to San Diego.

Day 58...Carne Asada Burrito! (Finally)

Mar 18

I went to see my friend Barb and her beautiful little baby girl Violet today. She lives in Lakeside, and I was early so I went for a little drive around Lakeside before heading to her place. It was really strange...my old stomping grounds look the same, but there are some subtle differences and I felt really funny. Kind of nostalgic, kind of creeped out actually.
It was a good visit though. We took a little walk down to one of my old taco shops I used to visit frequently and I got a REAL carne asada burrito and horchata. It was SO good! I was wishing Eli could be there to taste it so he would understand why I don't like Muchas Gracias in Oregon. Ha!

After our visit, I picked mom up at the pregnancy center and we came home. Jack decided we should go to Soup Plantation for dinner....which was a great idea except for the ride there and back...I'm afraid for my life and my child's life when Jack is driving, my goodness. But we made safely and the line wasn't out the door, though we did have to drive around the parking lot a few times.
Martyn was soo good, once again. He woke up right before we found a parking space and was really ready to be out of the car. By the time we made it through the line, (mom had to help me with my tray) he was nearly asleep, and when we got to the table it only took him about 5 min to fall asleep. He slept the whole time.

At home after dinner, mom got on the phone with Rachel, and I took Martyn in the room and just hung out with him. I love mama snuggle time like that! He's such a cool baby. Everyone he's met so far is impressed with how good he is, and I'm super blessed with such a wonderful baby.

In fact, I better go get him for some more mama snuggle time!

Day 57...Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Mar 17

Today was a lot of fun! Jack goes to an exercise program for seniors called silver sneakers, and they have a birthday celebration for all the people with birthdays for each month, which they happened to have today for St. Paddy's day. So it was also a St. Paddy's day celebration. All those seniors dressed up in all kinds of green, they had a parade in the Gym of the Joan Croc center, and lunch after ward.
The seniors all really enjoyed having Martyn join them for the celebration, and he was such a good boy. He was awake almost the entire time we were there, and very alert. They were all just thrilled with him. He is 8 weeks today, and that was impressive to them, since he can hold his head up really well, and was just such a good boy the whole time.

After that, we stopped by the store and he was done by then. He was ready to come home and have a nap. When we got home, I needed to change his diaper and he was just screaming bloody murder! I thought he was hurt with the way he was screaming, but I couldn't find anything that was hurting him, and he calmed down easily enough I figured he was just learning how to use the full capacity of his lungs. Kinda freaked me out while he was carrying on though...definitely not a sound a mama ever wants to hear.

I took Martyn to dinner at the Ferreria's house, that was cool. I always like visiting with them, and all the kids were there. Martyn finally fell asleep in the car on the way over and was hard asleep, he didn't even wake up when I got him out of the car seat and handed him off to Brooke. She was really excited to hold him. It was funny. Then he still didn't wake up when she passed him off to Caleb. It was so strange to see Caleb, about to turn 24 years old tomorrow (the 18th) and about to get married in a couple months, holding my son. I kept chuckling saying, "Caleb, you're getting married!" Finally he laughed and said "Well you have a baby!" Strange to think how much both of us have grown up. I miss that guy. He will always be one of my favorites, I have to admit. I'm pleased with Man that he has become, and is still becoming.

All in all, it was a great St. Patrick's day. Probably one of the best I've ever had, and there wasn't even any alcohol anywhere near me the entire day, which was great!

Day 56...not a whole lot

Mar 16

Martyn and I pretty much just stayed home today and rested. It was nice.
I enjoyed my boy and Grannie enjoyed my boy, and that's a good way to spend the day.


That was pretty much it for the day. Martyn and I are both kind of worn out from all the visiting with people and it was so good to just have a day to rest.
For the last couple days, I had been kind of...well, bleedy. Just a little bit, nothing serious. The thought occurred to me that it was probably just a bit of exhaustion from all the traipsing about....but it also occurred to me that it could be implantation bleeding. My next thought after that was.... "oh boy...."
I highly doubt that is the case, but imagine if it is. My kids would be less than a year apart...10 months. That would be insane! I want to have another child, but not that soon, I just got done being pregnant and I want to enjoy that for a while....not to mention give my body some time to heal up. OY!

Actually, I think it's fine. That was all just speculation of a highly unlikely scenario. Though it would be very difficult, and hard on me physically, I would be so happy by the time I was ready to have that baby. Thankfully (hopefully) I don't have to worry about it. Not that I would 'worry' so much, but still.
That's all I have for now. It was a light day.

Day 55.... weird, but good.

Mar 15

The Ides of March...

It was nice to rest most of the day today. I stayed up late finishing the book I was reading and that made it difficult to get up, but Martyn decided he was done sleeping in. What could I do?
We got up and got some breakfast, and just kind of hung out all day at home. It was good. Stacey texted me to let me know she found out she's having another boy, which is super cool...well, a girl would have been super cool too. I'm excited for her. She's coming down here Sunday night, and Damon and Tucker too...it will be good to see them, and for her to see Martyn, and mom and Jack too.

On a bit of a whim, Mom and I did take off to go to David's Bridal so I could get fitted for, and order my dress for my best friend Nicole's wedding in June. Mom totally took care of Martyn the whole time and it took a bit longer than I expected it too, but I got it done. It feels good to have accomplished that. I was kind of dreading doing it at home, because I didn't know who would watch Martyn, or if I would leave him home with Eli....or what. Actually it worked out well that I did that down here, because I got a discount on the dress since Nicole's whole bridal party is getting their dresses from there....that was a score! That poor girl that helped me was a little frazzled. I just stayed calm and patient, I know it takes time to do those things some times. She said a couple times, "thank you for being so patient"...Which kind of made me chuckle inside, and feel a little sorry for her...I mean, how are people normally?
I've found that in situations like that, it's always best to be patient and stay calm...getting agitated never helps, it only hurts.

Last night I went to have dinner with Amy, my old house mate from mom's house on Jeff street...the good Amy, ha! It was cool to have dinner with her and David her husband, and their daughter Julia who is full of her self, and very bright. Julia was very interested in and curious about Martyn and all the little things that go along with him, like breast feeding for one. That was cool. I didn't mind at all that she really wanted to watch me feed him, and she had a ton of questions, just like 7 year old kids often do about everything.
It was cool to see Amy and David as parents. I'm finding that more and more as I go around and visit old friends and family who didn't have kids the last time I saw them, or they now have more kids. Lot's of changes for everyone. I know I said that before, but it's true...and it's great!

I wonder how different things will be the next few years as more of my friends and family start to grow their families, or are just getting started. I'm looking forward to it, while enjoying my time right now. Life is good!

Day 54...catching up with the time change

Mar 14

I'm still playing catch up from the time change...and I'm on vacation dang it, I shouldn't have to play catch up!
Martyn is playing catch up too, or maybe he's just worn out from visiting...I hope that's it. He slept just fine last night, probably around 5 hours straight and needed a diaper change, and went right back to sleep and slept about 3 hours, maybe 4 and woke up to be nursed and changed again...Then was kind of awake and snugly with me. He did go back to sleep for an hour or so. Then we got up and had breakfast with mom and Jack, and went to visit another old friend.
That boy fell asleep in the car on the short trip there, and slept almost the entire time I was there, which was about 3 hours, and didn't wake up when I stopped at Target on the way home and shopped for some T-shirts, and still didn't wake up until we had been home a good half hour. Then he was up for maybe an hour with Mom and I, and I put him on his belly for some floor time, he fell asleep again and slept for 2 more hours.
At least I made it 3/4 of the way through dinner with out him waking up, and I got to take a little nap before that too. After he woke up at dinner time, I nursed him and had to really really wake him up...he was just so sleepy.
Finally he woke all the way up and has been up now for a couple hours, although he's really quiet in the other room with Grannie, so I'm wondering if he fell back asleep. He does seem to be enjoying this time, but I know he's worn out....I'm worn out!

I skyped Eli tonight for the first time since I've been here, and got Martyn up to the camera so Eli could see him. I don't think he could see the computer screen, let alone understand that was his daddy, but he seemed to recognize Eli's voice at least. That was kind of cool.
It sort of hit me like a ton of bricks after that, how much I miss my husband. I know he's missing both of us too, but for whatever reason, I didn't anticipate that I would be missing him so much, this quick into the visit. I still have a week left too. Oh well, that will make our reunion that much more sweet. Funny how that works huh?

While visiting with my friend today, it struck me once again how awesome it is to be a mama...and to see people that I grew up with, both relatives of mine and old friends, as parents too....and to think how much life has changed over the years, for the better and better and better.
It feels good.

Day 53...time to show off

Mar 13

The time change messed with me this morning. I was out kinda late last night and didn't change the time on the clock in my room at mom's house. So when I woke up this morning, I glanced at the clock and thought I had time to go back to sleep for a couple hours before it was time to get up for church.
Mom came and woke me up 20 min before we were supposed to leave, asking if I was going with them or not. Needless to say, mom and I were a little bit late, Jack went on ahead of us.

Mom's not going to the same church she went to when I lived here, things sure have changed...for the better I think though. It was cool.

Martyn, as usual, did great. He just slept through the whole service...that was his first time going to church. Once again, all the ladies who mom had been bragging too got to come and oooh and aaaah over Martyn being such a cutie, and such a good baby....I was proud.

After church, mom and Jack went to the old folks home like they do twice a month, to have church service for them. Martyn and I stayed home and took a little nap on the couch, and just snuggled. He's so cozy like that. Then we went to visit with several of my old friends from my old neighborhood as a teen. We had a friend who just happened to be in town this weekend, so it was so nice to reunite with everyone, and see all their kids! That was the coolest part for me. Martyn got passed around and was just so good. I even nursed him (we were outside at a park) and managed to stay covered up, ha!
I noticed Martyn especially liked my one guy friend that held him. He just cooed and smiled and laughed, and screeched happily while Chuck was holding him...it occurred to me that Chuck was the first male to hold Martyn since we left Portland....Eli was the last male to hold him, and he's daddy...I think that Martyn was missing his daddy, and picked up on male presence. I thought that was interesting.

He was worn out from all the visiting once again, and ready to just snuggle with me at bed time. I love that so much. I think he's doing great and I'm trying to space out visits a little more now...I don't want him to get over whelmed.
It's so much fun to show him off to people though, and for the most part he's just wonderful and fun for everyone....Mom pointed out that in a month or two when he's really laughing, he's probably going to be really bubbly and giggly...oh man I can't wait!

Day 52...big sleeper

Mar 12

Martyn slept nearly all day today. I think he's just a bit over whelmed by all the new stuff and new people. Poor boy, every time he takes a nap, he wakes up in a new place, ha!

I went to visit my cousin Wendy in the afternoon, and that was super cool. It's really cool to see her and her husband Ben (who was my youth pastor when I lived here in San Diego) with a house full of kids. It just makes my heart happy! Martyn was a good boy, and woke up for a little while, but Wendy got to have her baby fix.
After that I went to another of my cousin's house, Amanda, and had dinner with her and her family and visited for a long time. I always feel refreshed after a long visit with her. Martyn woke up while we were at Amanda's house and was just happy and wiggly on the floor for a long time.
He's such a good baby.

It's been so cool to take him all over and visit all my people's here in San Diego, and show him off...and he's always so good. He either sleeps, or he's awake for a while and good, until he just can't take it anymore and then needs to snuggle with mama, or nurse to calm back down...it's a bit over whelming for him like I said.

I wonder how he's going to be when he's a little older. His little personality is just barely coming out I think, and so far, he's pretty social. He seems to enjoy interaction with new people, but he really enjoys just taking in his new surroundings, especially if he can lay on his back on the floor...or on my lap for that matter. Mama's face is still his favorite thing to look at, which is perfectly fine with me!
I'm curious about when he's older, say in school, what he will be like....social and a people person, or more quiet and observant?
Oh the things to look forward to.

Day 51...cousins

Mar 11

Today I went to the pregnancy care center where my mom volunteers on Friday afternoons, with her so I could use her car for a couple hours. It still feels strange driving around in San Diego (county) and knowing places, and how to get to places, but it's not home anymore. Still, I enjoyed driving more than I thought I would, even though I kind of had to re-learn how to drive in CA.

After I dropped mom off, I took Martyn over to my cousin Norma's salon, to visit. I caught her there at a good time, and several old ladies got to oooh and aaah over Martyn...He's such a little flirt! He just was so good, and quiet and smiled at everyone, and got passed around. He was done by the end, but he maintained for 2 hours at least, I was so proud of him. It was a little warmer than either of us are used to as well, and he handled that like a champ. It's odd to have to pull the sun shade over his car seat, so the sun is not shining right in his face.

Coming to visit my mom was a great idea as far as eating healthy goes. She's been feeding me such good food! She and Jack get almost all of their veggies from their own garden, so it's all fresh and is getting me excited about getting our garden going this spring and summer....or at the very least, that summer is right around the corner which means all the farmers markets will be open again. I've missed having good fresh fruit and veggies, and have totally slacked on good nutrition in the last month. I was doing ok for the first few weeks after Martyn was born, but just got lazy.
This has been a good reminder for me to keep up the good eating, not only for my sake, but especially for Martyn's sake....good nutrition in Mama, makes a healthy baby-both in the womb and out.

Day 50...mama's wisdom

Mar 10

Wow! 50 days already, how did that happen? I'll probably be saying that again in another ten days....
Martyn and I very much enjoyed spending the day with Grannie and Jack. Mom and I (and Martyn) went to the store to get some diapers, and milk because all mom had in the house was soy milk (yuck!). She was so cute at the store, every person we talked to, she just boasted about her little grandson being down to visit, and about me too, but mostly about Martyn. It was a lot of fun to watch her dote on Martyn in public. People are always curious about such a little baby, though to me he looks so big!

It was such a nice sunny day, and we actually stayed in the house most of the day except to venture to the store, and later in the evening mom took us on a tour of the garden in the back yard, and then after dinner mom and I (and Martyn) went for a walk. It was so nice!

It's only been a day and half, and I'm finding that I'm really enjoying just spending time with my Mama. Most times before when I would come visit San Diego, I would only visit with mom for a little while, and then want to go visit my friends the rest of the time. I am looking forward to visiting with my friends and family besides mom too, but this is the first time I'm happy to just visit with her....It feels like to me I've missed out on a lot of wisdom my mother has to offer because I've always been in a rush to do something else.
I'm finding, even after such a short period of being here, that Mom really does have a great cache of wisdom to offer, even if she is a little crazy. I suppose crazy just goes with the territory though, and I'm fine with that.
I hope that when Martyn is a young man, and brings his family to visit me and Eli, that he is ready and willing to accept any wisdom I may have to offer. I see Eli doing that with his mother (and father) and it makes me happy.
Between my mom, and his parents, we should have a great deal of good wisdom to pass down to our little Martyn, while he's still little and when he's not so little.

Day 49...time to fly

Mar 9

Well, we made it to San Diego safe and sound, and Martyn did so well. I'm proud to be his mama.

When we got up and got going this morning, I thought we were doing really well as far as time goes. Then we didn't take the 'smart' way to get onto HWY 26, which was a parking lot. I was getting pretty antsy, Eli was venting about work and really chatty so I just listened to him while we crept along on the free way. Once we got past down town, it was pretty much smooth sailing and we were fine on time.

I had to check the car seat and my bag, and I had already done early bird check in on line, so checking luggage was all we had to do...oh and get Martyn's boarding pass...good thing I got his birth certificate, ha!

That was easy. Flying on Wednesday is always a good idea, especially if it's in the morning, there just aren't a huge amount of people flying that day...which seems odd to me that more people haven't figured that out yet. Anyway, we had plenty of time to get to, and through security, so we just sat with Eli for a little while. He was very sad for us to go, I was a little sad too...but happy at the same time.

Eli held Martyn for me while I walked through the winedy line, and then handed him over the wall to me when I got up to the security point. I had a lot of stuff to get through the scanner, it was a little frustrating. Everyone was friendly about it at least.

Finally I got all my stuff back on and situated and went down to the gate. Martyn was happy to look around at all the new stuff and lights. After we were sitting for a little while, a very nice older lady came up to us to chat. She said she saw me walk up to the gate, and calm Martyn down (he was fussy for a moment) and she just wanted to offer help if I needed it, like with going to the bathroom (on the plane she meant) and holding the baby, or whatever. I talked with her for a little while, and decided I could leave my bag with her a minute while I took Martyn to the bathroom (in the airport) and changed him.

When I got back, they were boarding the plane, so it was good timing.

My flight had a stop over, with no plane change, in Oakland...it was supposed to be about an hour layover. I nursed Martyn at take off (from Portland) and he was perfectly fine. He stayed awake almost the whole flight, but didn't cry. I nursed him when we started the decent into Oakland, and he fell asleep, and didn't like being woken up once at the gate. That flight wasn't very full, so I was able to sit in an isle seat, in the second row, and no one in the middle seat. The lady I sat next (in the window seat) happened to be a Le Leche League coach, and was very friendly, and pro-nursing the baby on the flight, which I was very very glad for.

There was some problem, I never quite got the full story as to why this happened, but we had to change planes in Oakland. All the passengers going on to San Diego got bumped to the next flight, which was about 2 hours later. I was ok with that. I just got some lunch in the airport, and took care of Martyn, and read my book until it was time to board the next flight...it was fine. Lot's of people gave us the baby eye, both men and women, which kind of surprised me...but it was because I was travelling alone, with a very obviously young baby. So many people were willing to 'help', though I didn't feel I needed it, but I appreciated the courtesy anyway.

Martyn had fallen asleep while we were waiting to board, and stayed asleep the entire flight. I sat next to a very nice older couple, on the packed flight. There were a couple other little babies on that flight, who fussed the whole time...not my boy though! He was perfect!

When we got to San Diego and got off the plane, I was feeling really tired. It's been nearly 3 years since I've flown into San Diego, and it was really strange for it not to feel familiar anymore. I remember the last time I came down here, it felt familiar, but clearly not like coming home....and I liked that feeling. This time, it was just strange. It was like, well, flying down to the city my mom lives in to visit her, with my baby son. Funny how that works huh?

I had to nurse Martyn in the car before we left the airport, and change him because of the stupid disposable diapers. He had a blow out even though I had just changed him in the airport when we landed....I really hate those disposable diapers, they suck! Anyway, once we started driving home to mom's house, things started feeling more familiar. Not like I didn't recognize San Diego while flying it, but I've flown into San Diego many times before and could pin point freeways, and streets from the plane...I just couldn't do that this time.

It was nice to come home to Mom and Jack's house. I haven't been to this house too many times in the almost 6 years that they've lived here. It's such a cool house though, and it feels good to come home (for vacation) to it. It's cozy and comfortable, and was really nice after a long day of traveling. Mom made dinner right away, and after dinner Jack went to AWANA, and mom stayed home with Martyn and Me and we all had a great visit. Grannie loves that baby up, and I love being home with my Mama....I hope Martyn feels that way about coming to see me when he's a grown man with his own family.

Day 48...first time for everything

Mar 8

I woke up pretty early this morning, with a huge list of things to get done. Mostly packing for my trip.

I was pretty excited to get started, Martyn wasn't. He took forever to fall asleep for a nap, and kept waking up. It took me all day to pack, ha! But I got it done, I'm so excited to go.

This evening I was pumping one side while Martyn was waking up from his nap. I decided to offer him a bottle for the first time, to see how he would do with it. The milk was still warm since I had just pumped. He took it like a champ! Like he had been drinking from a bottle his whole life, it was great!

That is a big weight lifted off my shoulders, I was afraid he wouldn't take a bottle and then we'd be in bad shape when I have to go back to work. I feel much less apprehensive about it now. We just have to find someone when I get back.

For now, we'll worry about vacation....yay!

Day 47...Big Boy!

Mar 7

I had a WIC appointment this morning first thing and it was hard to get up. We got straight into the shower, because Martyn was all congested....the steam shower seamed to really help.

We got there and got him all weighed and measured, and found out officially what a big boy he is. He weighed in 12 lbs, 2 oz and 22.5 inches long. However they weighed him with his clothes on because it was really cold, so that's not his actual weight. He also just got weighed (accurately) at my last midwife appointment 4 days ago, so closer to his actual weight would be 10lbs, 13 oz.

So for weight, with the midwife weight he's in the 75th percentile, and height the 83rd percentile. Mama's BIG boy!

I was impressed, and so was my WIC counselor. She was actually very pleased, he's a very healthy boy, doing great with Breast feeding and growing fantastically....thriving. I'm pleased with him in general, but I also especially like the fact that he's so healthy. I wish his little bit of congestion would clear up. I'll just keep breast feeding him, and spraying a bit of breast milk up his nose, and steaming him in the shower...all those things seem to be helping.

Tonight when Eli got home, he was feeling so down. He just had such a hard, long day and was very tired. Martyn was a bit fussy while we were eating dinner (and watching Family guy....I think that's why he was fussy, and I agree, I hate that show too) but then when it was time to hand him over to Eli so I could finish eating, he just quieted down and was his normal, happy self. Really happy to see and interact with daddy, which perked daddy right up. I love that! I hope that relationship carries over to when he's a teenager, and eventually when he's a man, where he's happy to spend time with his dad.

When I got up this morning, I only ate a bagel with my coffee before I went to my appointment. When we got home, I fed Martyn and sat in the recliner with him for a little while and he fell asleep. I was hungry, but more sleepy and couldn't resist taking a nap in the chair with my boy. So I didn't eat anything but a bagel and coffee, until after 2 in the afternoon. I was pretty starving when I finally got up. I need to remember not to do that to myself...and to Martyn, though he's obviously doing fine.

Getting more excited about going to San Diego....I keep adding things to my mental check list of what I need to pack and stuff...That kind of thing never works for me. When I travel, I almost always pack the day or night before I leave, and do the check list as I go, and it hasn't failed me yet in almost 20 years of traveling alone....that's right, I flew by myself for the first time when I was 11 years old, and have been flying solo almost exclusively since then, with a few exceptions. I guess technically I won't be alone on this trip...but yeah. It will be interesting to see how I fair, with a new routine. Will be fine I'm sure, just new. Even though I enjoy traveling alone, I wish Eli was able to come with me on this trip, and I'm looking forward to a time when we can all go on a family vacation.

Day 46...easy day

Mar 6

Not a whole lot today.

Got up around 8, which was crazy...but Martyn was waking up, and I figured we're going to be getting up early the next few days anyway, may has well get up semi early this morning. He had a nice long, active awake time this morning. It's so much fun to play with him and talk to him, and watch him respond to the sound of my voice, and my sight of my face, the feel of my touch on his face, and body and feet. He's just cute!

I think today actually was the longest period of time that I've gotten to play with him, and he's happy and alert....it was probably a good 45 min straight this morning, and again this evening while Eli was home. That's the most fun, when there's two of us for him to look at and flirt with...yes, I think he flirts with his daddy too. Babies do that with people who smile at them, and interact with them, especially people who do it often and the baby recognizes them....like mama and daddy for instance.

He had a huge nap in the middle of the day...one would think I'd have been able to get more done besides just the dishes, but no...I didn't do anything other than that. I got the laundry basket out here in the living room to fold the clothes, but just didn't get around to it.

I have a wic appointment tomorrow morning, so I figured I would go to that, then go to the store to pick up a few last minute items I need for my trip. I'm getting so excited to go to San Diego. Just today, made a plan with an old friend who will be in San Diego the same time as me, to get together and have a sort of reunion with all the kids from the neighborhood I grew up in there...That will be so cool, I haven't seen most of them for 10 years at least, probably more. And all but one of us has kids, boys in particular, so that will be cool to meet all of their kids as well. Martyn will be the smallest by a long ways, ha!

I'm really looking forward to spending time with my mom too. With Martyn starting to have longer periods of alert/happy wakefulness, I'm excited for mom to get to spend some time with him in the mornings.... it seems he's going to be a morning person like her....oh well. Also, I'm looking forward to a bit of warm weather and sun shine. I may even need to wear shorts! My legs are really white though, but that's ok.

Martyn really likes water. He loves taking a bath in the bathtub, but he seems to enjoy shower time too. Part of what he enjoys is a little bit of time to lay naked on a towel on the floor, while mama gets in the shower first and does her washing, then brings him in for a steam too. Usually I have the water too hot to put him directly into it, but I can splash him with it a bit, and clean him that way. I don't often use anything but water to wash him. Once a week or so, I'll use baby soap and give him a gentle scrub, which makes him smell so good. But that good smell lasts a whole week, with just washing him with warm water the rest of the time, even if he's been really dowsed with spit up at any given point. Water is awesome!

In the shower, he will just hold still and not squirm, and look at me really intensely...check me all out in the more natural light. Or look at the window seal, or whatever and is perfectly content to just let me wash him off, or just hold him for a while.

I can't wait to take him to a little swimmer class, I think he'll really enjoy it... Me too for that matter.