Sept 10
This has been a good day of reflection.
It was the hottest day of the week. Rather uncomfortable. Eli and I got up pretty early because Martyn was in bed with us for most of the night (again.) Eli made us a very yummy diet, and then we went to the store. Why is that people who are going to cause 'shenanigans' are always shopping at Winco when we are? And on a Saturday morning too? What the heck? Actually, it wasn't that bad, but still, c'mon people!
We came home and Martyn was very ready for a nap. He fell asleep pretty quick and I was able to put him in the crib with out waking him. I had planned to crash my mom in law's knitting club with the boy today, but while he was napping I decided I'd better lay down on the couch and rest for a while, before it got too hot and uncomfortable to do that. We both ended up taking about a 3 hour nap, which I think we both really needed. I haven't taken a nap on the couch in a long time though, and I had weird heat-induced couch dreams, ha!
After I fixed Martyn some dinner (fed him a jar of sweet potatoes), I was thinking on what I should have and thinking maybe I would call Eli up and see if the guys were ready for a dinner break and I could join them. Just then the phone rings and it's Eli, asking me if I want to come join them all for Thai food. I was like, yes! Awesome! I love it when he reads my mind like that.
I quickly packed up the boy, and headed over there. After dinner, we walked across the street to some game shop and the guys all kind of shopped around, but didn't get anything. Then we went to a park near by and they played with one of Eli's buddies' RC Car. Martyn played in the grass for a few minutes, and then we went home. The guys went back to their game house.
On the way home, I was thinking who could I call or go see while we're already out and about. No one came to mind, so I just went on home.
I have to admit, even though I love for Eli to get to hang out with his buddies (and they only do this like once a month, or two) I was lonely today. Martyn is wonderful company, and I love that I got an extra day with him...but I was really wanting some company. Not necessarily from Eli though.
I was thinking about all the different friends I've had over the years....and how recently, since I've been in Oregon, it's been very difficult for me to let people in. That's kind of been the case my whole life, but I was able to do that several years ago. And now I'm really wanting those close friendships, and relationships and feel like I'm really missing out on them....yet I don't know how to bring them about. All my close friends live in different states than me. I get frustrated and irritated with Eli, when he brings it up, that I don't really have any girl friends. I always say I do, they just don't live near me. But I want girlfriends who live near me, dang it.
For what ever reason, this is really hard for me to even admit.
I'm in a totally different place in life than ever before. It's kind of funny to me now that I have a baby, I really want friends with babies....or small kids at least. I feel like they would understand the way life is in general with little ones...but sometimes, people with little ones of their own get this, too.
Just feeling out of sorts, and lonely today. Maybe it's the heat, maybe I'm just lonely. I keep thinking I should go to church, and make friends there....but if I'm honest, I'm a lot leery of doing that. It's hard to explain. In fact, now is not the time for that topic. I suppose I'm finished for the evening then.
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