Day 192...emotion lotion (for Martyn that is)

Jul 31

This was a good day. We got up and took Eli to work, and were back home before the sun was up. I had had this big scheme in mind to make enchiladas, and then head down south and surprise my sister with a visit, then come back up in time to pick up Eli...but morning nap time foiled my plan.

That's ok though, it worked out better I think to stay in town for the day. Martyn and I went to the store and a garage sale, and had a good time. I found this cool toy at the garage sale, that he really liked...I like it too because it's engaging for him, and not annoying for me, ha!

He was pretty happy and content for the whole day, until he fell asleep on me around 4:30. I fell asleep in the chair, and woke up about ten till 6. So I got up to put Martyn in the car seat so we could go pick up Eli. He just had a complete melt down. He would not be comforted. Finally, I was like ok, we have to go. Once we got in the car and got going, he calmed right down, but was doing that little gasp that kids do when they've gotten all worked up and their diaphragm is still spasming...poor baby. He had gotten so worked up before we left that he made himself gag.

He sure was happy to see Eli when we got home though. I love how he just lights up when he sees his daddy. I'm glad he didn't have any more emotional melt downs after we got home.

Day 191...feeling cranky

Jul 30

I got up this morning feeling like a million bucks! I had gotten up and put Martyn back in the crib around 4:30, and I had turned Eli's clock off when I went to bed. So I slept in for the morning, and when Martyn woke up and started getting kicky and arm-flaily, I only had to listen to it, and not feel it. He woke up happy enough, and was content to just lay in the crib and kick to his hearts content, and chatter away....which was perfectly fine with me, because I got to sleep in until 6:45! Eli got up and changed Martyn, and brought him back to bed....which has kind of become the Saturday morning routine, and I like it very much. It was looking like it was going to be a beautiful morning, and we had made out a list of stuff we wanted to get at the Farmers market ahead of time.

It took us a little while to get moving, but once we did, we packed up and headed out to the Farmers Market. Usually we bring the stroller, but I wanted to try the baby carrier, and I would carry Martyn. The only problem was I forgot to grab his little sun hat, but it was early enough in the day that it wasn't a problem. I just stayed in the shade as much as I could, and a little bit of sun is good for him.

Man I was cranky by the time we got there though. Eli and I had had words about getting his truck fixed, and me riding my bike to work, and I was all worked up over that. For me, that spiralled into feeling angry and upset with him the whole day, but really fighting against showing it, or saying mean things to him that I didn't really mean and couldn't take back. At the Farmers Market however, I got over myself and we did a pretty good job at getting our stuff. I think we came away with a pretty good bounty. We stuck to our new rule when we got home, which is that no food from the FM can go into the fridge until we've processed it. For example, we got a ton of carrots. I had to prep them for making baby food, which only consists of peeling and chopping them, so they're ready to cook and puree. I was pretty proud of both of us for sticking to that rule.

It got kind of hot, and then cooled off nicely in the evening. I had to remove myself from everyone, while Martyn was taking a nap, and go take a nap myself in the man cave. I really didn't feel like being a jerk to my wonderful husband, and if I had stayed up, I probably would have been. I really needed a nap. As it turns out, the reason for my crankiness today, and just lately in general was because of the return of my "lady days".... I'll leave it at that.

Day 190....why do Fridays drag on?

Jul 29

Oh Fridays.....why must you drag so?

Eli took me to work today, and left straight from there and drove up to his folk's house to help his dad put in the new sun window.

I thought about them both all day long. I just really missed them a lot, and wanted to be home with them. The day just dragged on.

We had planned for me to ride the MAX and the bus home. I left work at 4pm. I walked to the MAX in Hillsboro, which took about 15 or 20 min. Got on board, and waited 8 minutes to leave. The MAX ride to the Sunset Transit station took about 40 minutes, and then I had to wait 15 minutes more for the bus. The bus ride from the transit center to the bus stop by my house was about 20 min and then about a 5 min walk home. It was strange to come home to a completely empty house, even the dog was gone.

Even though I was missing my fellows all day, it was kind of nice to have the house to myself for a couple hours when I got home. Of course I was totally glad to see them when they all got home, especially since I left my breast pump at work...my girls were very happy to nurse Martyn, ha!

I think I could take my bike up to the bus stop in the morning, and go to work that way on non-baby sitter days (while Eli's truck is out of commission) and then in the afternoon ride home from the MAX, or wait for the bus. I enjoy the MAX and bus ride, it just takes a lot of time out of my already short time in the evenings with my family. We shall see though.

Day 189...just another day

Jul 28

Thursday. Nothing going on. Just work. Same old thing. wishing I was home with my guys. I've been super tired lately and kinda snappy, irritable. I wish I knew what the deal was. Like I said, not a whole lot for today.

Day 188...A bit ambitious

Jul 27

So I got it in my head that it would be a good idea for me to ride my bike to work tomorrow, coupled with riding the MAX. Eli, being the wise husband that he is, suggested (almost demanded) that I go for a test run ride tonight, since I haven't been on a bike ride since last year before I was pregnant....really since we lived in the apartment in SE Portland, which was almost two years ago.

I complied. I went for a lovely ride, about 1/3 of the way to the MAX stop. Boy, there is a lot of hill between our house and the MAX. A lot. I knew that, but when you get on the bike and start huffing up and down those hills, it becomes much clearer that you are really out of shape. I made the command decision when I got home from that bike ride, that perhaps it was a bit ambitious to try to ride to work tomorrow. However, it's going to be my goal to work up to. I will have to go for a bike ride a few nights a week while it's still nice out....the problem is our neighborhood isn't exactly "bike friendly" like our old neighborhood was. It's actually a little scary.

I've been thinking I need to start some kind of exercise regiment again though, and I really miss bike riding. It kind of kicked my butt tonight though. When I got home, my legs were all rubbery and I was out of breath. I walked past Eli holding Martyn twice, to get a drink of water, and to go to the bathroom. Both times, Martyn totally reached out for me.

I think he's ready to start learning baby sign language. I've been noticing the last couple weeks that his understanding of spoken language seems to have increased, and now I want him to be able to communicate back. Should be interesting, since it will be new to both Eli and I, as well.

I think it will be fun though. I'm looking forward to it now!

Day 187...saying good bye

Jul 26

Soooo slow at work today. Even more so because I had to take Eli to work, so I got to work at about 6:15. Uhg. I was just counting down the hours till I got to go home. I like my job, but that's all it is....a job. I don't think I could ever be passionate about it.

I was thinking about Martyn all morning, and sent a text message to check up on him. They sent me back a text message a little later, with a picture of him sleeping in the crib. That salved my nerves about it, and the rest of the went by fine....just dragged.

Again, I had this plan to come home and make dinner, but I was just tired. Jon and Talia were out and about with Martyn, and when they got back we all decided we would meet up with some friends in NE Portland, for dinner. I would go pick Eli up, and we would all meet.

We got there a little after when we thought we would be there. It was nice to visit with everyone. I was sad to say good bye, but the next time we see each other will be even sweeter.

Day 186...Monday Monday

Jul 25

Martyn woke up SO happy this morning. Good thing, because Eli's truck died and I had to wake Martyn up, get him dressed and ready to go, and get out the door in 15 minutes. Eli was only about 5 minutes late. Not bad. I was able to get over to the baby sitter's house a little early, and nurse Martyn and just chit-chat a bit with the baby sitter.

Nothing really major at work. Pretty slow Monday. I had this big plan to get home and make dinner, but I had to stop at the store on the way. By the time I got home, it was time to turn around and go back out to Hillsboro to pick up Eli. That was annoying, but it was nice to ride home with Eli.

Jon and Talia were out late and I stayed up a little later than normal, so I could give some instructions on care for Martyn tomorrow. No big deal. I'm glad they are staying to baby sit him tomorrow because I think it will be good for them, but I have to admit I'm a little nervous about it. It'll be fine though. Martyn really likes them, and they love him.

Day 185...Sundays are just the best!

Jul 24

I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again; I love my Sundays with Martyn! It's just so wonderful!

This morning, when Eli came back in to kiss me good bye, I had forgotten I had put Martyn back in the crib. He said I got this really scared look on my face, and was looking all around on the bed, like "where's the baby?!" He said "it's ok, it's ok! He's in the crib, he's safe..." I was totally half asleep. Thank goodness for Eli, I would have gotten up all in a panic, ha!

Martyn let me sleep in until about 6:15....I was so sleepy, but he was laying in the crib just chatting away. If he had understandable words, he would have been saying "Mama, get you're butt up out of bed and feed me!"...in a sweet way of course, because he's a sweet boy. So I got up, changed him and took him out to the living room to nurse him. He started rubbing his eyes and seeming tired, so I told him we needed to go back to bed for a little while....and he agreed. We went back to bed, and got up around 9.

We just hung out all day. I made some carrot baby food for him, and he REALLY liked it. He didn't make a yuck face once, and he ate it all up. I was so tired all day. My main task for the day was to go to the store. I totally fell asleep while Martyn was taking his afternoon nap, and it was HARD to get up and rally, to go to the store. But I did it.

Martyn was awake for the trip to the store, so I set him in the cart and strapped him in. I brought a burp clothe and wrapped it around the bar on the cart, so he wouldn't put his mouth on the it, and could suck on the burp cloth too. He just looks so tiny in the cart, with out the car seat. He was happy though, and alert and looking all around. A lot of people were giving me the baby eye. As usual, Martyn was just wonderful.

When we got home, I got everything put away. We had made a plan to meet up with everyone, and Robin and Miriam as well, who were on their way home from a little weekend trip to Seattle. Eli got home, and we headed over the hill, for sushi with the family. It was fun. Really cool to have the whole family together. We even made some passerby's take a big family photo of us.

Was a great way to end the day.

Day 184...What a great summer day!

Jul 23

Martyn and I spent the night up in Carson for the first time, with out Eli, last night. Jon and Talia's friend from New Zealand was up, with his wife, and Jon had been planning to go kayaking today. So We all hung out with Walt and Mary Jane. Eli brought Sheba up to the house and hung out too.

All of us ladies (Mary Jane, Talia, Rachel and I) and Martyn went swimming at Stevenson pool. Martyn LOVED the pool! He was so relaxed, not afraid at all. He doesn't have any reason to be afraid of the water. He really enjoyed it though. He was totally happy just kicking his little feet, in every position we put him in. He also liked sitting on the side and splashing with his hands (and feet) to his hearts content. It was pretty cute.

It was such a nice day out, we couldn't pass up having dinner outside in the yard. Everyone really enjoyed getting to play with Martyn, and we all enjoyed visiting with each other. It's so nice to see how much everyone loves my boy.

Day 183....still catching up

Jul 22

John and Talia are in town. They all stopped by and had lunch with me today. Then Martyn and I rode up to Carson with them, after work. (brief I know....I'm getting caught up.)

Day 182...getting caught up

Jul 21

I've gotten behind too many days.....so the next couple will just be for the sake of the picture of Martyn.....since that actually is the purpose of the blog.

Day 181...6 months!

Jul 20

(So if you want to get technical, yesterday was 180 days which is actually 6 months, but we're going by the date here!)

Martyn is 6 months old, I can hardly believe it! The month date posts are my favorite ones and I really look forward to them each month because I get to recall all of Martyn's baby skills and abilities....which is always fun for Mama's.

Here's what he can do now.

Sitting up completely unassisted for long periods of time, though we still put pillows and blankets around him because he could still easily lean over too far, or back and conk his knoggin. He also likes to lean forward and launch himself, like a rocket, in a downward position, so if there are no soft things for him to aim at, the hard floor doesn't make for a good face plant. We can't leave him on the couch sitting or laying anymore, because he can roll over and will.

When we lay him on the floor on his belly, he almost always immediately starts turning his body in a circle, and always to his left. He can hold himself up with his arms for a long time, and occasionally get up on his hands and knees for a few seconds. If we set him down on all fours, he can hold that position for a longer time than if he pushes up himself from the ground. He can push him self in reverse, and totally gets frustrated with that, because he REALLY wants to go forward.

He can go forward too, by dragging his body and legs using his arms, or doing the face plant inch worm/army crawl....he hasn't quite got it down yet to work both his arms and legs together.

If there is a good motivator in front of him, like his favorite toys, or something new and shiny, then he'll make a really strong effort to get to it. On the carpet upstairs, he has a lot more traction and can really get going pretty good, down stairs on the hardwood is a lot more frustrating for him.

He can rake objects on the floor, to himself and pick them up. Occasionally, if something is already in reach, he will just grab it off the floor. His fine dexterity is not quite there yet, but I would say it's about mid range. Very small things he can't quite grasp yet, but also he doesn't have much opportunity to do so, since I'm afraid they would go straight into his mouth and possibly choke him. He can easily hold a variety of objects in either hand, and transfer them from hand to hand. He can pick things up with both hands together and bring them to his mouth. He's also discovered that banging toys on the floor or on the high chair tray, is a lot of fun.

He's discovered the fun game of "fetch"....and will throw things over the side of the high chair at random, expecting someone to pick them up for him. He loves to look in the mirror at "that other baby" and I think he's starting to understand that it's his reflection. He will often look at himself, then look at my reflection, then turn and look at me directly. He's figuring it out.

When we hold him up, and balance him, he can stand for a long time with out getting the wobbly, Elvis hips and knees. In the Johnny jump up, he's started to bounce a little, and really likes to

'stomp' his feet, or kick them. He seems to be just fascinated with bright colors, and still very much enjoys high contrast colors, or black and white.

He loves people. Kids especially. He always looks for eyes and a smile, and usually anyone who makes eye contact with him, is rewarded with a big, toothless grin. Toothless being the key. Still no teeth yet. I thought I had seen a little tooth bud when he was about 4 months, but it wasn't. He's still super slobbery and occasionally cranky, but no teeth to show for it yet. He has become a lot more mouthy, he really wants to chew on semi-hard, or rubbery things to soothe his little gums. He's also started sucking/chewing on his thumb a bit too....oh man that's cute. I would prefer him to suck his thumb to a pacifier, and with the pacifier, he would rather chew on it then suck it.

He's had several tastes of both rice and barley cereal and hasn't been very interested. I gave him some banana in the munchkin food pouch, and he LOVED it! He was so excited the first time, that he took it out of his mouth and just yelled at it. I've given that to him a few times. I made peas/baby food for him, and gave him a taste of that. Actually, he ate most of it, but he didn't seem to like it very much.

He is totally ready for other kinds of baby food. When he sees the food on the spoon coming the first bite, he opens up wide for it. It just makes me so proud of him, to see him eating like a champ. He's working on sleeping through the night, too. A few nights ago this week, he stayed down the whole night, and last night he made it until 4, which is just an hour before my clock goes off.

He graduated to the bigger size diapers, which are fabulous! They hold everything so much better, and we've had fewer blow outs. He's also wearing 9 month clothes for the most part.

In a couple weeks, I'm going to take him in for his first round of shots....I'm not looking forward to it, but the time has come.

He's just the most wonderful baby ever, still.

Day 180....peas please

Jul 19

Not a bad day at all. Really slow at work again. Martyn hasn't pooped since Friday, and I was a little concerned so I researched all day and found that sometimes happens with breast fed babies. He doesn't seem uncomfortable or anything, so that added to my non-worry.

When I got home tonight, I got out one of the frozen pea cubes I had made for him and thawed it out while I was cooking dinner. Martyn sat in the highchair, facing out the back door and playing with some toys, and watching Sheba run around the yard. Eli got home before dinner was done cooking and hopped in the shower, then proceeded to be my picture taker for feeding Martyn.
So with the peas, he wasn't exactly a fan....but he was still willing to take it. I think I'm going to try to give him carrots next....actually, if he doesn't go poop for another couple days, I'm going to get some baby food prunes and give that to him. I think he's fine, but I'm still keeping an eye on it
I was so proud of him for eating the peas tonight though. It really made my heart swell, to see my baby doing big boy things, like eating sold food.....and doing it like a champ, to boot! It also really made me feel like the time is just getting away. He's going to be crawling before I know it, then walking, then running...and getting into everything. Oh boy. Even still, I'm so excited to see more of his little personality coming out every day. What a wonderful kid he is! And what blessed parents Eli and I are to have him. Life is good....more than that, God is good. I'm looking forward to teaching Martyn that, too.

Day 179...Whoo hoo! made it through the night

Jul 18

Martyn slept in the crib the whole night last night! Oh, it was so nice to not get up, except to go to the bathroom once. I could get used to this! The trade off though, was that last night it took me a long time to get him to go to sleep. He had fallen asleep on me at the normal time. Actually on Eli. When I went to lay him down in the crib he woke up, and was just all upset. I couldn't get him to calm down and stop crying for a long time. I don't know what the problem was. I thought maybe his tummy was hurting him since he hadn't pooped all weekend, but he didn't seem to be acting like he was hurting or uncomfortable even.
He had a little irritation on his belly button, I thought maybe that was hurting him, but again he didn't seem like he was in pain. I walked around with him, changed positions, sat down and rocked him, laid him down on the bed....nothing seemed to work. He was just crying and crying. I think he was just really super tired, and fighting going back to sleep because even though he was crying, it wasn't like loud urgent cries. It was kind of weak, and tired.

Finally I laid him down on the changing table and took his diaper off so I could get a good look at his belly button, to make sure that was not the problem. He had a little gas, and then seemed to calm down. Poor baby, even had big crocodile tears streaming down the side of his cheeks. It kind of broke my heart. I got him all diapered and pj'd back up, and took him in the living room and nursed him back to sleep. Brought him back in our room and put him in the crib, and he slept the whole night.....if the trade off is that it takes me an hour of comforting him to sleep, but he stays down the whole night....I'll take it!

Man it was dead at work today! Surprisingly, the day actually went by pretty quickly. When I picked Martyn up from the baby sitter, he was all smiles...man that just makes me feel so good! She told me her kids were super excited to see him this morning when they got up...that is so cute! It made me think about something Eli's aunt said to me on Saturday, " a working mom is only as good at work, as her babysitter is..." So true. The last few weeks before we found this babysitter were really hard on me, because I was kinda stressed about what we were doing with Martyn in the early part of the week. I feel SO much better about it now. My work morale has definitely improved, and I think Martyn is getting a lot out of being around other small kids, too. It's just a relief. Yay for wonderful people!

I'm thinking I need to schedule an appointment with the pediatrician, to start Martyn's first round of shots, since he's 6 months old now (technically Wednesday he'll be 6 months). I'm not looking forward to this. I do feel like it's necessary though, and I want to do what's right for my son. I love the fact that he has been so healthy and has grown wonderfully so far. I think his good health, has much to do with his good disposition....and that just makes me happy. He's going to be on a way delayed schedule for vaccines.... and I'm mostly ok with that. If were solely up to Eli, he probably would have had them at the normal schedule, but I said that was right out! I love my husband all the more for being willing to comply with his hippie wife....I'm smiling.

Day 178...Sundays are the best!

Jul 17

As much as I enjoy spending Saturdays with Eli (it's the only full day we have together), I find myself more and more looking forward to Sundays. Sundays are the days, that I get to spend with just Martyn, for the full day. Even though I also want to be productive on Sundays, and get things done around the house, I get so much out of spending the day with my son.

Yesterday, I spent a great deal of time cleaning and organizing the upstairs room of baby stuff, so it can now be a play room too. So I took advantage of that today, and brought Martyn up there to play for a while. It's bright an cozy in that room. It was rainy, and wet outside, and felt so nice to just sit down on the carpet and play with him for quite a while.

I even finally hung up the little string/ribbon of "blessings" from everyone at my baby shower. So now, that room is play room for baby, and project room for mama still....though I keep thinking of projects I may want to do that require more space than my little room upstairs.....I have my eye on a corner in the garage, which is a project in it's self.

Yesterday, Eli and I were talking about making our house feel more permanent. We rent there, and can leave any time we want....or our land lord can kick us out any time he wants, but we have a good relationship with him and it's mutually beneficial for us and him, if we stay for a while. We've been there for a bit over a year and a half now, and I haven't even hung any pictures up. We decided to just commit to staying there for a while. A few years maybe. I'm looking around the house, thinking of how I'm going to "mobile-baby-proof" the place now that Martyn is so close to crawling. He still has a ways to go, but it won't be long at all. I'm thinking within the next two months, he'll be crawling.

I'm also looking around the house, with the idea in mind that I want to have another baby in another couple years or so, an we would out grow this place with two toddlers....the house, not the yard. Still though, for the time being, it's time to make the place feel more permanent than it does now.

Even though it was a pretty lazy day overall, I still got a lot of chores done. I love it when that happens. I loved spending the day with my sunny boy, too. I like not feeling stressed on Sunday, about taking him to the baby sitter on Monday, too.

Day 177...what a lovely day for a party

Jul 16

Today was a fantastic day!

Eli got up with Martyn around 6 or so, and let me sleep in until Martyn couldn't take it anymore....which was until about 7, and I really needed and appreciated it. I was laying in bed for about 10 min before I got up, listening to them in the living room....Martyn was holding out pretty well, but he really wanted his mama, and some ninny, and finally just broke down crying. Eli did so well with him. I sure love that guy, he's such a great daddy (and hubby).

When I got up and took Martyn, Eli fixed us breakfast and then we headed out to the farmers market. I was dead set on getting some stuff to start making baby food....peas in particular. It was a little sprinkly, and cloudy but warm. We made it through the farmers market...I love how that has become part of our Saturday routine for the summer again. It's fun to go, and see all the vendors, and I don't even mind (usually) the mass hoard of people there. People always seem to be in friendly, high spirits there, and that makes me happy, too.

On the way home, Eli says to me, "do you mind if when we get home, I just sit for a little while? I'm really worn out..." Sure! I said. I know how it is. I on the other hand, was feeling full of energy and decided I need to get a bunch of stuff done. We also made the decision that anything we got from the farmers market, would not go into the fridge until it had been processed by one of us.....like for carrots, cut the greens off, peel and chop them....like that.

Eli took Martyn, and I got a bunch of stuff done. We were supposed to go over to his Great Aunt Phylis' house for a garden party/wedding reception for her daughter Betsy, at 4 so we needed to leave by 3:30. At 3, I hoped in the shower, and Eli made some tasty cabbage salad for the party. We loaded Martyn up, who had been sleeping and took off. Made it on time and really enjoyed the party. There was a lot of great food, and it was fun to visit with everyone. Martyn, as usual was just wonderful, and everyone really enjoyed him.

At one point, I was sitting on the couch inside, and nursing him when Walt and Mary Jane arrived. They came in the front door, and Walt says, "I see Martyn!" It was so cute. I love how they both are SO enjoying being grand parents. I had Martyn wearing his "Team Grandpa" shirt too.
Over all it was just a wonderful day, spent with my two favorite guys...and some other great friends and family too. Just what I needed after a long week at work.

Day 176...oh man, so glad it's friday

Jul 15

The ides of July....I said that at work to one of my vendors today and he totally didn't get it, ha! Oh well, it still made me chuckle a little.

This day at work, draaaaaged on. It was so slow. It was so slow, I had time to completely reorganize my bin location board, and start cleaning it really well. Uhg.

After walk through this morning, my boss says "it feels like a Micki-D's kind of morning".....having gotten McDonald's for us, and I've declined many times in the past, he looks at me and says "there's gotta be something you like from there? Orange juice? Oatmeal?"....It is kind of funny to me, and kind of sad at the same time that they just don't understand. I don't like McDonald's food, that's the main reason I don't eat there. I also don't care to support them at all, that's the solidifying reason I don't eat there. I choose not to support them at all because I think they have done a great disservice to the American people, with the stuff they call food. I don't just not eat there if I can help it....I don't eat there at all. Ever. Not a lot of people understand that. Oh well.

It was so wonderful to come home to Eli and Martyn, as usual. I was really looking forward to hugging them both. We put Martyn in the Johnny Jump up, and he was SO happy with it. He was kicking his little feet and spinning around, and being a little chatter box....super cute. I am so looking forward to spending the weekend with my fellows.

Day 175...surprise visit

Jul 14

It was nice to come home to my sleeping child, in his grandma's arms today. Mary Jane stopped by for a visit, and stayed for dinner....she came baring gifts from VooDoo doughnuts.....yum!

I had a long, frustrating day....especially at the end (at work I mean) and was having a hard time switching gears to be at home.

When I got home, Mary Jane was sitting in the chair, with sleeping Martyn in her arms and it was just so sweet. He had been sleeping for about an hour before I got there. I didn't want to wake him right away, but I also didn't want him to sleep too much longer, or it would be hard to get him to go to sleep at bed time.

It was so cute when he did wake up. I was quietly talking to him, to get him to wake up all the way and he was all groggy and sleep. I said his name and all of a sudden he just sat up, or pushed up with his arms rather, and looked all around like "I heard my Mama's voice!" When he turned around and saw me sitting on the couch, looking at him, he just broke into this huge grin. It was kind of funny, and totally melted my heart once again. Man I love that boy.

It was nice to visit with Mary Jane too. Eli had Martyn in his new little onsie that says "off to "Grandma's house"....she liked it too.

Day 174...mid week (hump day)

Jul 13

I really don't like the phrase "hump day". It's just off putting. But I get it. It's all down hill from here....as far as the week goes, right? I guess. Man I was dragging today. Still am. Just no energy at all. I had to go take a half hour nap in the car, during my lunch hour. I do that sometimes, but have to keep the radio on, and turned up kind of loud so I don't go all the way to sleep, or wouldn't wake up in time to clock back in.

Except for being so much out of energy today, I like days like today. I didn't have a huge amount of work to do, but it was steady. I had to work several deals through out the day, for getting parts, and I like it when I have days where I have to figure stuff out, but it's not stressful. Makes me feel like I'm actually accomplishing something at work.

This morning, I got up to put Martyn back in the crib at 430....the clock goes off at 5. So I climbed back into bed for a half hour, and when the clock went off I indulged in a snooze, because Eli didn't turn the clock off like he normally does (since it's on his side of the bed.) I got up before it went off the second time though, and turned it off and let Eli stay sleeping since Martyn was asleep. I figured he would sleep until 7 or so, but he woke up about 20 min before I needed to leave. Eli got him up, and changed him and dressed him. I was glad to see them both before I left, and nurse Martyn. I was totally going to just let them both sleep.

Since I got all distracted with my fellows this morning, I took off and totally forgot to bring the breast pump with me. I realized that, when I got to work and called Eli right away. I said he needed to bring it to me, with in the next couple hours because I was going to be totally full (like engorged) if I didn't get to pump in that time frame. He grumbled a bit, but totally complied....he's such a wonderful husband! Martyn was asleep when they stopped by, so I only got to see my honey for a minute.

When I got home tonight, I had my sun glasses on when I walked in the house. Eli was holding Martyn, and I said hi to both of them, and then took my sunglasses off. Martyn had had a bit of a concerned look on his face, but when I too off my sunglasses, he instantly recognized me and gave me that great big "hey you're my mama!" smile. I love that! I took him and hugged him up, squeezed him tight. He hugged me back, it was awesome. I love that he does that now.

I had talked to my brother very briefly on fb chat at work today, and we said we would skype when I got home if he was still up....it's 11.5 hours ahead, where he is. It was good to talk to him. He finally got to see Martyn on Skype too, which was really cool. I'm so looking forward to the day when they get to meet face to face.

Martyn is finally figuring out that it's fun to play in the johnny jump up. I put him in there and he just gets all excited. He jumps a little, but kicks his feet more than anything. Super cute. Oh, and he yells...because apparently that's what he does when he's excited. I got some new, bigger size diapers in the mail yesterday, and ran them through the laundry a few times, so they're ready for use now. Which is good, because the small diapers are just barely hanging on anymore. I'm hoping the bigger diapers will mean less diaper blasters blow outs, ha! We shall see.

Day 173...work bbq

Jul 12

So I made sure to get my self and Martyn to the baby sitter on time this morning. The nice thing is, her house is only about 10 minutes from work, so if I get there early enough I can nurse Martyn and get him all settled and still make it to work on time....especially if I do my walk through sheet the day before. I really like the new baby sitter. She is a stay at home mom, with a boy and a girl who are 3 and 2. She is an Andaluz mom, and her primary midwife was my second midwife, which is awesome. I think it's a good fit for both families and that helps me breathe a breath of relief.

We had our vendor bbq at work today, in the rain. The rain by the way, was awesome! It was totally warm out, and misty all morning. Then by the time the bbq started, it was sprinkling a little and by the time it was over, it was full on pouring. I love Oregon. Seriously.

It was kind of fun to meet a few of the vendors I've only talked on the phone with...nice to put a name to a face, and I'm sure it was for them as well. I was sort of required to "schmooz" them a little, which I did. I don't like to do that, but I am pretty ok at it. I think it's more that I talk to people fairly easily, I think people just feel at ease when they talk to me...I suppose that's a good quality to have.

It was kind of funny...the techs went in the ice cream cart and opened all the boxes, so they would be forced to leave the ice cream that didn't get eaten, at our shop. So now we have a freezer full of ice cream sandwiches and stuff. Those guys are crazy.

The day was pretty easy, but man am I tired. I was just dragging today, especially in the afternoon after I had a gut full of bbq and ice cream, ha!

When I picked Martyn up, Denise (the new baby sitter) was sitting with him on the couch looking at a cloth book. I really like that. She said they had another good day. Her kids really enjoy playing with Martyn, and he really enjoys them (because he's a total people person) and he really enjoyed her little wiener dog named Bradly. He's an old fella, but I guess he was really making Martyn laugh today. That doesn't surprise me, Martyn really likes dogs.

I enjoyed spending time with my son after work tonight. We came out in the back yard and sat in the grass for a long time. Sheba was really interested in Martyn, probably more than I've ever seen her. Martyn was really interested in the grass. He kept grabbing a handful, and pulling it out, then doing it all over again. He didn't seem to want to put it into his mouth, which I thought was strange since everything else he wants in his mouth. Then we came in and I "rapped" Baa Baa Black Sheep, to him several times while I was putting the dishes in the dishwasher away. He liked that a lot. It's so fun to be able to interact with him like that. After that, I took him upstairs and laid him on a blanket on the floor. He really likes being on the floor on the carpet because it's not slippery like the wood floors down stairs. I played the guitar for him for a little while and he was really diggin' it.

Eli came home, and joined us upstairs for a bit. With his encouragement, Martyn was totally doing the army crawl/scoot. Kind of like an inch worm. But he started on one side of the blanket facing a certain direction, and wound up on the other side of the blanket, facing the other direction. It was like he was trying to do laps or something. He's going to be crawling in no time, it's just amazing.

I'm gonna have to baby proof my house soon!

Day 172...Monday Monday....

Jul 11

I was actually kind of excited to go back to work today. Weird. Also, Martyn was starting with the new baby sitter too. I was a little nervous, and excited about that too. I totally left the house like 15 minutes later than I had intended to. I wanted to get to the baby sitter's, and have time get Martyn settled. But I was late of course, so I kind of had to just rush in and drop the baby and take off...Thankfully I did my sheet for walk through on Friday.

Had a good day at work. It's just amazing how much feeling well, helps me to feel good in the head. I know I've said that already. But seriously.

When I picked Martyn up at the end of the day, he was sitting happily on the floor playing with some toys. When I walked in, and said his name, he looked up and gave me a huge smile of recognition, like "hey, you're my mama!" Oh man, it totally melted my heart.

My new baby sitter said he had a great day and he was a joy to watch. Which also totally melted my heart. I seriously have the best baby ever!

Day 171....fully back to normal

Jul 10

What a wonderful Sunday!

This is what I've been waiting for, for the past week....a nice day at home with just Martyn, and feeling physically well. I thoroughly enjoyed myself with him today. This morning, I put him out on a blanket in the back yard, and transplanted my pepper plants into bigger pots. He had a nice little time on his belly in the yard. I love how he is so fascinated by, well everything, ha! I had to run Sheba off though, she was getting a little too stampy, and pouncy around the baby.

I feel like I got a lot done. I got the dishes done, made deviled eggs, got the laundry folded, got the diapers done....it was a good day. Got dinner made. That's always a tough one for me, especially on days that I work too, but I love having dinner ready for Eli when he gets home after a long day. I also love when Eli comes in, if Martyn is sitting on the floor, or in his high chair, or in his little rocking chair, and he sees Eli, how his little face just lights up. No one compares to Mama, but I think Daddy is a pretty close second, Martyn loves him. And Eli loves Martyn, he lights up like a Christmas tree when he sees Martyn....it's so precious.

It's amazing what a difference it makes for my whole mental outlook, to feel physically well. I still had to stay out of the sun for the most part today, but I really appreciated the sunlight and I felt so much better....was feeling good in the brain, I told Eli later this evening. I most definitely am.

Day 170...just take it easy already!

Jul 9

Oh, I'm so glad it's Saturday! Martyn totally let us sleep in until about 7...he's been doing that more often. I took him out in the living room for a bit, and let Eli go back to sleep for another 25 minutes or so.

When he got up, we packed up and went to the farmers market. It was nice out. Kind of sunny though, and I'm supposed to stay out of the sun because of the antibiotics....I put sunscreen on for the first time years! That was really weird. The smell of sun screen, no matter what situation I'm in, always makes me think of going to the beach in San Diego. That's just the smell of the beach in my mind, I think it always will be.

I felt a lot better today. Just a few days of meds, made me feel half way human again. Eli had talked to the potential new babysitter, and we were to meet her at her home around 4pm. After going to the farmers market, we came home and Eli did a bunch of work around the house. I just hung out with Martyn, and ended up taking a nap with him in the middle of the day. That was so nice!

We met the new babysitter lady and we liked her. I found her from posting on my Birth Center's yahoo group. That was cool. I think she'll be a good fit for our family, and us for hers. I hope so anyway. She starts with Martyn on Monday....here's hoping (and praying).

I found these pro biotic capsules in the freezer a while ago and thought they were Eli's, but didn't say anything to him about them. Then the other day I said something and he said they weren't his. After a little while, he suggested perhaps Song left them from when she was here, which was indeed the case. I called her and asked about them. They're good still, and she said you can give Martyn a bottle, and break them open, and put the powder directly into his bottle. I thought that was a good idea....I can take them too, to help my gut regulate from the antibiotics. That made me feel much better about nursing Martyn (partly) while I'm on them still. I only have a few days of meds left, and I am going to run to full course of them, but I'll be glad when I'm not feeling concerned for his sake.

Day 169...on the mend

Jul 8

Feeling better today. Not all the way well, but better than yesterday. It's kind of a relief. Got into it a little bit with my bosses boss. Very aggravating, so much so I don't even want to think about it because it just makes me get mad....and really it wasn't that big a deal, and worked it's self out anyway.

It was so nice to come home to my fellows, and not feel like crap. It was also nice to only work 2 days this week.....it won't be so nice on my check, but oh well I needed the recovery time. I'm really looking forward to not having any plans this weekend. We still don't have a babysitter set for Monday, but I have been talking with a lady from Andaluz so hopefully that will get resolved too.

It was nice to just spend the evening with Martyn. Eli went to game night, and Martyn and I just hung out. Actually we went to bed pretty early. Must have needed it.

Day 168...back to work

Jul 7

Went back to work today. It was strange getting up and getting ready. I guess I was glad to be doing it. I didn't have a fever, but I wouldn't say I was feeling a lot better. My stupid cough is driving me crazy. Everyone kept asking me, how are you feeling? I would shrug and mumble "I'm here...." that was about it. My voice sounds awful from all the coughing. My boss did parts on Tuesday, and they sent the helper from one of the other shops over to do parts on Wednesday....they both did a good job. I thought I was going to have a pile of stuff to deal with and it wasn't bad at all. Made it much easier, to deal with just being there. I don't have a very positive mental outlook in general right now, but especially about work. That may change when I start feeling better I think.

I started Martyn on the goats milk and breast milk mix yesterday, so as not to breast feed him a lot of antibiotics. He liked it, but I was concerned that he hadn't pooped in a couple days. Eli sent me a text message today that said "Orange poop explosion!" That made me chuckle a little. Sometimes it seems like Martyn totally saves them up, until he's home with Eli and lets 'em rip. Gross. Makes me feel a little sorry for Eli, but at the same time, I'm glad not to have to deal with poop explosions....though really they're not that bad yet.

Day 167...home again

Jul 6

Stayed home from work today again. Still have a fever. I started my antibiotics today. At least it's a low fever. The antibiotics have a sun exposure warning. I had done a load of diapers a little bit ago, and was putting the diaper covers, and a few of the stained diapers out on the porch to bleach in the sun and I was only out there for a couple minutes. When I came back in the house, I totally could not see, because of the brightness. Lame. Kind of scared me because it was like 2 full minutes that I couldn't see in the house until my eyes adjusted. After that, I put my sun glasses on even if I was only going out for a minute.

Man putting the stained diapers out on the deck bleached them way better than I anticipated it would. I think that's the cleanest they've ever been, though a little stiff since they didn't run through the dryer and fluff up. I'm gonna start doing that all the time, it really worked. I really enjoy using the clothe diapers. Martyn is totally growing out of the small size that we have right now though. Sometimes when he has a poop blaster, it just goes everywhere because those diapers are super snug. Oh well, I ordered some of the next size up and he's kind of on the cusp anyway....they're either going to be too small or a bit big for the next little while I think.

Day 166...time for mama to see the doctor

Jul 5

Woke up with a fever. As I predicted I would. That meant today was the day to go see the doctor and get this silly thing taken care of. Woke up in the middle of the night, totally sweaty. I mean covered, drenched in sweat. Oddly enough, it was only staying on my skin, instead of soaking the bed or covers or baby. It was the weirdest thing.

I looked on line and made the last available appointment for the day, at 9:10. My insurance is Kaiser, so I have to go to a Kaiser facility, at least there's one near by. I had to take Martyn with me. Kaiser is really good at effecently running you through the system. You go up to the counter, pay your copay, and then go the waiting area upstairs and wait by which ever door they tell you to wait by, depending on who your doctor is. You only have to wait a few minutes from the time you get upstairs, and then the nurse, or PA comes and calls you and shutttles you into a little exam room.

The nurse was cool. She was this big black woman, named Molly and she had a Jamaican accent. She was very friendly and made goo goo eyes at Martyn, who just stared at her and stayed quiet. She was very sympathetic over my misery. I had a fever to boot. She asked me a bunch of questions, and I answered as best I could with my terribly hoarse voice, and cough. Martyn say pretty quietly in his car seat, and played with Mr. Elefant, one of his favorites. Nurse Molly seemed impressed with how good he was.

She had me change into a gown, when she left the room and said the doctor would be in shortly....20 minutes later the doctor came into see me. I was feeling like crap. I think I had a pretty low fever, but those can be just as bad as a higher fever because they're just enough to make you feel crappy. She detirmined that I needed a chest x-ray, so she sent me back down stairs with Martyn in tow.

The Radiology department and the Peidiatric ward have the same waiting area, and the door to Pediatrics was open. There was a poor kid in there, I couldn't see, who was getting shots (I'm assuming) and vehemently protesting. I think the kid was probably 3 or 4 years old, maybe a little younger. But just screaming like they were cutting his foot off or something. It was hard to listen to, and kind of made me mad. It made me cry too, I just wanted to run in there and tell them to stop torchering that poor baby.

I have not had Martyn vaccinated at all yet, because I wanted to wait until he was a bit older (6 months) to start. He's almost to when we're going to start, but listening to that kid nearly sent me off the notion to vaccinate in the first place.....that's a thought for a different time.

The ladies at the Radiology reception desk said they would sit with Martyn while I was doing the X-ray, and of course he was perfect for them. I just sat his car seat right inside their little cubicle area and he just flirted away. Silly baby.

They now have it set up so they can see the X-ray on the computer right away after they get it, so I have to lug Martyn in the carseat back upstairs to talk to the doctor again. The diagnosis is Bronchitis. I knew it was some kind of respirartory infection. She prescribed anti-biotics, and said they were safe for breastfeeding, but I don't believe her. Song reminded me that I can supplement my stored breast milk with goats milk and carrot juice. I felt a lot better about the idea of taking the meds.

Day 165...happy fourth....?

Jul 4

It certainly was a beautiful day. I don't remember a fourth of July for quite a while that was this clear and beautiful. Too bad I was kind of cooped up in the house with a fever, and all alone except for Martyn. I don't mind being cooped up with him though.

I did manage to take the boy out in the yard, and sit in the shade for a bit in the evening. So we were outside to enjoy some of the nice day. Stinking fever is kicking my butt though. And the coughing, goodness gracious. Makes my head hurt just thinking about it. There were Fireworks going off last night some, and a fare bit today....had poor Sheba all in a fearful tizzy.

I had been planning on taking her for a walk, but the combination of the fever and head ache, and the dog being all afraid, kept me from doing so.

It was kind of a hot one today. Mary Jane and Walt were going to come into town tonight, and spend the night so they could take care of Martyn tomorrow...but I already know I'm not going to work tomorrow and have told them don't come. Uhg. If I have a fever tomorrow, it will be 5 days straight, and I think I'll have to go to the doctor.

Day 164...the fever takes over

Jul 3

Woke up with a fever. A hot one. My head was pounding, my lungs were kind of burning....I had a slight cough. My first thought was "God, please protect my son from this sickness"....my next thought was about what a jerk my boss was for coming to work sick.....

It didn't get better as the day went on. The highest point, it was 102.8 and my head was totally throbbing. I still had to pull it together to care for Martyn...Eli's brother Robin, and his wife Miriam, and Miriam's mom who was in town visiting, were supposed to stop by in the late morning on their way up the Gorge for Walt's big fourth of July party.....They ended up calling it off because they got a late start, and I was actually really glad. I was in no presenting state, ha! And, I thought I might feel better enough to come up on Monday so I would still get to see them.

I did get the nifty food mesh bag out, and let Martyn have his very first taste of bananas... He loved it! He was so funny, he would chew on the mesh for a bit, then take it away from his mouth and just yell at it, and kick his little feet, then cram it back into his mouth. I think yelling seems to be his favorite method of expressing excitement right now.....oh boy what I'm in for with him as a two year old.....haa!

By the time Eli got home, I was feeling a hot mess. I think part of the reason it was kicking my butt so bad is because I'm still nursing Martyn. But having a hard time eating enough to sustain myself, let alone the amount of calories it takes to just keep up with producing breast milk. Eli and I looked up on the Internet what the recommended time frame for going to the hospital is, when one has a fever. It's if the fever is higher than 104, or if you've had a fever for 5 days or more. Today is third day. Hopefully it will clear up tomorrow....I'd really rather not have to go the the doctor.

Martyn is still ok.

Day 163...moving day

Jul 2

Not moving day for us, but for my sister and her husband. We were all set to help them. One problem though... I'm sick. Last night I told Mom I wasn't coming, that I was just going to send Eli and Martyn, and stay home and rest. But I was feeling better enough to come along. Eli and I were supposed to be the muscle...though I wasn't sure how much muscle I was going to be capable of.

Mom and Rachel had gotten Martyn a bunch of clothes, and mom was really looking forward to showing them to me. So as soon as we got to Rachel's house, that's what she did. It was pretty cool. They got him all 9 month clothes, and he totally fits into a bunch of them. Such a big boy.

They also got a few of the rubber coated, small spoons for feeding, and one of this super nifty mesh bags for giving babies food, with no risk of choking.

We got to their (old) house right as they were getting ready to take over the first load. So we followed them over to the new house and the load I carried in was the diaper bag, ha! We set up a little pillow and blanket padded area in the corner of the living room for Martyn to play on. Pretty much the only work i did all day was climb into the back of the truck and scoot the boxes of that first load, to the tail gate so the guys could easily come and grab them. That was pretty much all I had in me. I went inside and played with Martyn and talked to Mom and Rachel.

The guys left to get another load, and mom and Rachel stayed to finish unloading the boxes in the kitchen, so they could use the boxes. I had put Martyn down for a nap in one of the bedrooms on the bed and had come back out and laid down on his pallet I had made for him. I had a fever again. After a while, mom and Rachel finished and left to go back over to the house, I decided to go lay on the bed with Martyn. Eli and Bryan and Mitchel showed up about 10 min later. No one came back there to see if I was there or not, but I could hear them talking, and Eli was all panicked because I was no where to be found, but my car and the car seat were still there....He thought something had happened, but he couldn't quite put together what. They called mom and Rachel on the phone and were all frantic sounding, saying "where's Beth and the baby?" I could then here mom or Rachel (I'm not sure which, they totally sound alike on the phone) sounding equally frantic, saying I was there, asleep in the living room when they left..... I didn't want to wake the baby up, otherwise I would have just called out to them. Finally Eli said "Bethany, are you here?" I said as loudly quiet as possible, "I'm right here!" Then I hear him walking down the hall way.

He came in the room and sat down on the bed and looked really relieved....Which I thought was kind of funny, that it didn't occur to anyone to look in the rooms where the actual beds were set up.

I didn't feel any better all day. In fact, I felt pretty awful. I did take some Advil after lunch, and felt a tiny bit better for a little while, but dang. Also, I started coughing a little bit. I decided when we got home that I would take Martyn and sleep in the man cave so Eli could get some sleep....I had a feeling I was going to tossing and turning the whole night and I was totally right.

At least Martyn seems to be fine.

Day 162....the fever begins

Jul 1

Shoulder is still hurting this morning, and the rest of me is not feeling well at all. By the time we were done with walk through at work, I knew I had a fever. I was miserable all day. I really probably should have gone home at lunch, because I was miserable. And it was super busy.....still playing catch up. I made it through the day at work, came home and just crashed out with Martyn around 730 again.

They gave us pizza and cake and ice cream at work for all the June birthdays. It was kind of gross. I know I caught whatever my boss had. I even said something about it today, and he sluffed it off, saying "don't blame me, blame the world, everyone has been sick...." That kind of pissed me off. I just thought, whatever dude, you're the one who came to work sick.

We still don't have a baby sitter set for Tuesday, I'm feeling kind of stressed out about it.

Day 161...oh my achin' shoulder

Jun 30

Today is Rachel's birthday. I love having our birthdays right next door to each other. The main thing on my mind today however, was my aching left shoulder. It's been coming on for that last few days, but this morning it just hurt. Nothing soothed. No position change soothed. Sitting, standing, walking, rocking, swaying....I also have a slight tickle deep down in my lung on the left side as well.

Coming home to Martyn and Eli helped some. I just want this week to be over. It's been crazy busy. Since I came into work at noon on Tuesday, I've been playing catch up all week....still not caught up.